some more:
There were two babies in a womans' womb.One baby asked
the other, if you had one wish, what would you wish for?
The other baby replied, a car. So that I could ride
around all these streets', (meaning the veins and
arteries) The other one said, not I, I wish I had a
gun. To kill that little bald man that keeps coming
in and out of here!
One day a farmer went to a town to buy some animals. He got to the place and said, "Hi, I'd like to buy a rooster". The man said, "Sir we don't call it a rooster here, we call it a cock." So the farmer replied, "Well then I'll take a cock." Then he looked around and thought that if he was going to buy a rooster he'd need a chiken, so he said, "I'll also take a chiken." The man at the store said, "Sir it is called a pullet here!" So the farmer told him he'd buy a pullet. Then the farmer thought that he'd need a donkey to carry everything since he was walking home. He said, "Hey you know what, I'll take a donkey too." The guy at the store said, "Yes sir but it is called an ass!!" So then the guy at the store explained to the farmer that the ass sometimes doesn't wanna walk. He told him that when this happens all he has to do is scratch its butt and it'll start walking again.
On his way home he was walking and suddenly the ass stopped. He pulled and pulled on the lasso but it didn't work. Then the rooster and the chiken started to fall off of the donkey so he grabbed them. After a while he remembered what the clerk told him, but he couldn't put the animals down 'cause he was afraid someone would steal them. He then saw a very attractive young woman walking towards him and when she got closer he asked her, "Hey miss could you hold my cock and pullet while I scratch my ass?"
A guy who had been on a business trip for a couple of weeks comes home to find his son,Jimmy,riding a brand new 18 speed mountain bike.
"Where did you get the money for that bike?"he asked his son."It must've been over $200."
"It's easy Dad."replied Jimmy."I got the money hiking."
"Come on,tell the truth."his dad said.
"I am telling the truth."his son insisted.Every day you were gone,Mom's boss,Mr.Reynolds,would come over to see Mom,give me $20 and tell me to take a hike."
A naked man stands near the door of a popular nightclub wearing only a wooden box in front of himself with a strap from the box around his neck to hold the box in place. The box has a lid with a hinge. The large sign next to the man says: See the snake=$1.oo, Touch the snake=$5.00 a minute, If snake wakes up and spits on you=no charge.