even more jokes

Henyman

Secret Goat Fetish
Political User
#1
jus some jokes 4 ya all:p :p
please vote in the poll,if ya all like em then i'll add more each day,if u hate em i'll crawl back in to my hole;)

Top ten reasons not to have sex:

10. I'd love to honey, but I just banged your sister.

9. We're out of paper bags for your head again.

8. You haven't shaved in so long I'm afraid I'd feel I was
making love to Big Foot.

7. You're 20 bucks short.

6. We're out of gin again.

5. I used my last sponge for the dishes.

4. Sorry, this isn't a conjugal visit.

3. I can't tonight, honey, I spent myself earlier today
watching all those pornos.

2. Only if you put on this wig and talk like a Chinese hooker.


And the number 1 excuse to not have sex:

1. Your gynecologist just called - you still have crabs and
you know how I don't like seafood.



Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman
who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little
tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what
it means.
 

Henyman

Secret Goat Fetish
Political User
#6
hmmm were swinging 2 wards naf.....i wanted a poll cus if ppl like em the i will make it a perminant thing + try + post every day.
 

Henyman

Secret Goat Fetish
Political User
#8
:eek: :eek: are u sayin my sig is naff?

*Henyman goes 2 find xsivforce*

i will get it changed 2 xp-erince,sum time.......when sum 1 does it 4 me:)
 

Henyman

Secret Goat Fetish
Political User
#10
don't worry i deleted it,jus a kick the modem into working moment..i will delete this 1 soon as u delete urs as well:)
 

Alan

its only fun
#11
Got to tell how I see it,


Them there jokes are about as funny as a f*rt in a bottle :)

I'm off now to empty my cookies folder so I can vote again :)

Laters
Alan


 

Henyman

Secret Goat Fetish
Political User
#12
lol i will post some more jokes when i get homw 2nite from skool......probebly be l8 cus i got rugby 2nite as well:D
 

Henyman

Secret Goat Fetish
Political User
#18
any how bk 2 the jokes....

Every newspaper in New York sent a reporter and a staff
photographer to the office of a local ophthalmologist when it
was learned that he recently performed a successful sight-
saving operation on the wife of the country's most celebrated
pop artist, who, in addition to paying the doctor's usual fee,
had gratefully insisted on painting one of his contemporary
masterpieces across an entire wall of the doctor's waiting
room.

The mural turned out to be an immense multicolored picture
of a human eye, in the center of which stood a perfect
miniature likeness of the good doctor himself.

While cameras clicked and most of the newsmen
crowded around the famous artist for his comments, one cub
reporter drew the eye specialist aside and asked: "Tell me,
if you can, Doctor-what was your first reaction on seeing this
fantastic artistic achievement covering an entire wall of your
office?"

"To tell the truth," the physician replied, "my first thought
was, thank goodness I'm not a gynecologist!"

11 TIPS ON GETTING MORE EFFICIENCY OUT OF WOMEN EMPLOYEES:

There's no longer any question whether transit companies
should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The draft
and manpower shortage has settled that point. The important
things now are to select the most efficient women available
and how to use them to the best advantage. Here are eleven
helpful tips on the subject from Western Properties:

1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense
of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they are less
likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn't
be doing it, they still have the pep and interest to work hard
and to deal with the public efficiently.

2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have
worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older
women who have never contacted the public have a hard time
adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and
fussy. It's always well to impress upon older women the
importance of friendliness and courtesy.

3. General experience indicates that "husky" girls - those
who are just a little on the heavy side - are more even
tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special
physical examination - one covering female conditions. This
step not only protects the property against the possibilities
of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any
female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically
unfit for the job.

5. Stress at the outset the importance of time - the fact that
a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on
schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely
to be slowed up.

6. Give the female employees a definite day-long schedule of
duties so that they'll keep busy without bothering the
management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous
properties say that women make excellent workers when they
have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative
in finding work themselves.

7. Whenever possible, let the inside employee change from one
job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined
to be less nervous and happier with change.

8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during
the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine
psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if
she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her
hands several times a day.

9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms.
Women are often sensitive; they can't shrug off harsh words the
way men do. Never ridicule a woman - it breaks her spirit and
cuts off her efficiency.

10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around
women. Even though a girl's husband or father may swear
vociferously, she'll grow to dislike a place of business where
she hears too much of this.

11. Get enough size variety in operator's uniforms so that each
girl can have a proper fit. This point can't be stressed too
much in keeping women happy.

This is an excerpt from the July 1943 issue of Mass
Transportation. This was serious and written for male
supervisors of women in the work force during World War II--
a mere 54 years ago.
 

Members online

No members online now.

Latest posts

Latest profile posts

Perris Calderon wrote on Electronic Punk's profile.
Ep, glad to see you come back and tidy up...did want to ask a one day favor, I want to enhance my resume , was hoping you could make me administrator for a day, if so, take me right off since I won't be here to do anything, and don't know the slightest about the board, but it would be nice putting "served administrator osnn", if can do, THANKS

Been running around Quora lately, luv it there https://tinyurl.com/ycpxl
Electronic Punk wrote on Perris Calderon's profile.
All good still mate?
Hello, is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me ...
Xie
What a long strange trip it's been. =)

Forum statistics

Threads
61,969
Messages
673,295
Members
89,015
Latest member
arrangel