You might be a redneck addicted to the world of computers if.......


Secret Goat Fetish
Political User
You might be a redneck addicted to the world of computers if.......

* If yer computer stand is made of a stack of old tires or 2 x 8's and cinderblocks.
* Ya think www. in a url is a logo for a wrestlin' organization.
* Someone tells ya they're "locked up" and ya ask if they need bail money.
* Ya've ever been too drunk to chat.
* Yer screen saver is a confederate flag and plays dixie.
* Ya think a harddrive is a trip to Uncle Bubba's.
* Yer mouse keeps knocking over yer spitcan.
* Ya think a surge supressor is a pill for diarrhea.
* Ya keep trying to figure out why yer scanner won't pick up police radio calls.
* Ya think a megabyte is a new sandwich at McDonalds.
* Ya have to ask someone how to spell LOL.
* Yer stomach overlaps half of yer keyboard.
* Ya try to figure out how to get yer empty beer cans into the recyclin' bin.
* Ya try to turn on yer computer with the remote.
* Ya try to figure out how yer floppy disk got hard.
* Ya play frisbee with yer CD Rom's.
* Ya find yerself on the floor looking into yer "A Drive" yelling 'Give it back! Give it Back'.
* When birds fly across yer screen an ya reach for yer shotgun.
* Ya put a mousetrap on yer desk.
* Yer yards full of ol' computers stacked on cinder blocks.
* Ya use yer CD-ROM drive as a beer holder.
* Ya call tech support an ask where ta buy stamps fer yer e-mail.
* When ya tern yer computer on ya say, "Come OOOOOOON Betsy."
* Ya think system wizard is a dude in a funny hat.
* Ya think 64 M RAM is a nu big block engine fer yer pickup.
* Ya think ICQ is how smert yer computer is.
* Someone tellz ya yer computer has a bug an ya reach for the can of Raid.
* Ya think a mouse pad iz where Mighty Mouse and his cousins hang.
* Ya go buy a surfboard to surf the net.
* Ya think yer homepage is where ya really live.
* Ya give derections to a website that include a person, animal, or old barn.
* Ya think MB stands for "More Beer."
* Ya wait fer the bluelight special at K-Mart ta buy yer puter.
* Ya see the word Download, and take the shells out of yer shotgun.
* Ya think the person that made yer keyboard was dumb cuz the letters aint in order.
* Ya think pushing the delete key will make yer ol' lady disappear.
* Ya think CD stands for Cow Dung.
* Ya think IBM stands for "Idn't Betsy Marvelous."
* Ya think GIF stands fer "Goodie It's Free."
* Ya think Mirabilis is a new brand of smokes.
* Ya see the "shift" key and try ta figure out how ta change gears.
* Ya put a quilt over yer screen when a make whoopee to yer ol' lady.
* Ya wonder why yer screen saver ain't wearing a cape like that there superhero on the cartoons.
* Ya think screen saver is a new flavor o' candy.
* Ya think Geocities is a place ta buy lil cars.
* Ya catch yerself tryin' to smell the lil flower on yer ICQ contact list.
* Ya think the "A drive" is where ya park yer pickup.
* Ya see the werd "Zip" and know why youz feelin' a draft.
* Yer puter has a bumper sticker on it.
* Part of yer puter is held together with duct tape.
* Ya sees the word "Refresh" and reach into the cooler fer another beer.
* Yer in a chat room and someone asks where yer from and you reply, "My momma."
* You sees the word "Website" and start looking for spiders.