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The Big Story Chapter 2

Bytes Back

Ex Police Chief
Continuing the Big Story,

We will Follow the rules as before, anyone wanting to find out the rules or catch up on the story will find it here


And the put very nicely together version here


So, I will start

Chapter 2

Having rid the world of the Evil Vogons the group had assembled in Bytes Back country mansion's west wing to celebrate their survival. They had rushed in out of the biting Cornish wind, narrowly avoiding bumping into Thelma, Shaggy an Scooby doo.

Shaggy took one look at EP and started running away yelling "A ghost, a ghost" Jewellz stopped him with one swing of her tequila bottle, while Xsivforce asked thelma what on eart a bunch of fictional cartoon characters were doing in Cornwall.

Thelma explained they were searching for a ghost, a ghost called Anna..............


Prodigal Son
Canyacomova. Jewelzz gave a gasp."Not her again" she said. "I guess that means that you know her?" Fred asked. "Ruhroh" exclamed Scooby. " Yes" answered Jewelzz " I have had my share of problems with her". At that point, with a swift entrance comparable to Oprah at an all you can eat buffet...


Beware the G-Man
Political User
Dealer and Emmie-Chan (Anna Cumallova) :p burst into the room. Followed very closely by E P who is still looking kind of out of it. He seemed to be holding something in his hand. Scooby and Shaggy saw them make there grand entrance and started getting all twitchy. Scooby instantly ran over to Emmie-Chan (Anna) and started sniffing her. This instantly started to arrouse her and begain to frustrate Dealer. Dealer took a swat at Scooby and Scooby jumped back bumping into E P. All of a sudden he starts grouling, E P that is at Scooby. Scooby Freaks and starts running out the door. Jewelzz looks over at E P and says, " whats wrong guy? that's just Scooby Doo. Don't you get them in England?" Then Xsivforce the now Mayor of XP-erienceville noticed the shiny object in E P's hand and asked, "hey E P, what's that you got there? Can I see?". E P looked at him glassy eyed and opening his hand in this echoey voice said, " these are the keys to my new car". Gonaads turns and says, " what kinda ride you got?" E P says, " a brand new 2002 Volksvogon... I mean Volkswagen. He he he."...

Perris Calderon

Staff member
Political User
ok, wrote this a few days ago, and put it on the wrong thread...if it still works anywhere, stick it in, I'll also try to compose something while I'm out of town;

That very being that not one personwould expect to come to the defense of Jewelzz...Yes, Anna Kanyacomova arose from the depths of the nether, with the glow of radio active fujimentation, and with the presence of those that believe themselves bi omnipetant, she approached, in protection of those that were part of her past life, and this included..JUWELZZ...The lightneng flashed from her eyes, the expression or her face froze those that dared defy, the sound of thunder from her steps was ....er....thunderous (thank you gonnads)....and then,...and thenn,.......AND THENNNNNNNNNNN


..surrender to me jewelzz, or I shall use the whip. But my mother would not like it. Your mother is not getting it. But I`m only 13. I`m not superstitious, now for the whip then, No no, anything but the whip. ANYTHING! NO, the whip the whip. then from the depths of the glowering dark woods, emerged......


Prodigal Son
the 80's band, DEVO. The lead singer said "Crack that whip!" We all understood that when a problem comes along, you must whip it.
As we stood there looking into the glazed eyes of our now whipped Jewelzz, we heard something. It was not a sound of this world. It was somehow a tortured sound. One of muffled screams and moans of exstacy.
Out of the dark, twisted world of the "cafe", our nemisis arose with the laugh of beelzebub himself. What happened next was a shock to us all. He spoke...


...of what we had done to his vile henchmen, the Volksvogons, and in a voice of thunder, he declared that we would all suffer a fate worse than death. We all held our breath in anticipation of what would be the retribution that would befall us all.
"You will all be forced to drink from the skull of the hairy one EP."
As one, we screamed No, No. to this unearthly punishment that threatened us, but the evil being had only gotten started on his terms of revenge. Jewelzz tried to plead with IT, but was silenced in a stroke of ITS filthy hand, "ooooooooh" was all she could say.
Then the being retorted that her lips would shrink, and never be able to drink from any source whatsoever. What unutterable curse was this to inflict on our Jewelzz, who had by this time fainted from the shock of this horrific torment passed on her.
EP raised his hands to his head, but, too late, it split asunder, and the horrible mess of blue and pink gunge that was his brain, was spilled to the floor, dealer stepped forward to....


OSNN Godlike Veteran
fell to his knees and laughed, the most hideous laugh anyone had ever heard. Waddy, appalled that dealer could laugh at a time like this, grabbed Jewelzz bottle of tequila and cracked dealer upside the head. "Have you lost you're flipping mind?" yelled waddy. Little did waddy, or anyone else for that matter realize, indeed, dealer has snapped.
Jewelzz, being more upset waddy had smashed her bottle of tequila then about EP, started licking the ground, trying to suck up every bit of tequila. Bytes back was disgusted with the whole scene and started to walk away. "Where are you going?" asked emmie-chan(Anna). "I can't take this anymore" replied Bytes back. emmie-chan(Anna), not wanting to lose another member or the group, started seductively walking over to Bytes back. Slowly unbuttoning her blouse as she walked. xsivforce took notice of this and started...


...to unbutton the suit of armour he was wearing. He was having no luck at all in doing so. "My God" declared xsive, "they must be making smaller suits of armour these days". "Yes," yelled dealer, "thats because the nights are getting shorter. :D
Enough of this hilarity, said gonaads, we have more serious problems to deal with at this moment. EP is without brain, jewelzz is off her trolley, as she has lost her tequila, and has had to revert to Labbatts, which must be pure hell. xsive is trapped in a suit of armour inside an Abrahams M4 tank, and says he can`t find the conning tower, kirrie is trying to destroy the horror that is threatening us all, by exhausting flatulence at it from 500 yards away and choking us all instead, as we are downwind from it.
But, dealer is singing to it, and by God, it seems to shrink away when he does so, maybe he has the answer......


Beware the G-Man
Political User
But what was shrinking was something else, as Dealer looked down in horror :eek: The Evil One laughed a hidious laugh and said, "hey pretzle boy!". But at that instant out of the M4 came the X-man. Xsivforce had found a can opener and had peeled off the armor. Strange though, Jewelzz was hanging onto his leg mumbling, "Depity Dawg, Depity Dawg... She was still out of her bottle! err... mind! The sweat glissened off of X's chest as he heaved the huge mass of a Rocket Launcher onto his shoulder. The sheer image of this brought Emmie uh... Anna... Oh hell, Emmi-nna to her knees (drool drool). EP, convulsing on the floor while Kirrie2001 tried franticly to scoop EP's scrambled brains back into his noggin began to yell out, "I'm not drunk!". While Bytes back started to wrap up EP's head with Duct Tape. A few peices of brain were still on the floor but Bytes back thought, "Aw hell, he won't miss'em (giggle giggle)". (Fade back to X and the Rocket) The Evil One saw this and laughed, "You can't hurt me with that! You fools, You... You Bone Head... but at that X interupted It and said, "That's Mayor Bone Head to you Slime Ball, This is no ordinary Rocket it's a Flatulence Ooze Rocket. Made from Waddy's and Ep's own 3 day n 3 night club hopping, wasted on everything, take no prisoners... Peeeeww this stuff stinks... Well you get the picture you evil peice of Alien slime! At that all eyes turned to Xsivforce's finger on the trigger...CLICK...

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Hello, is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me ...
What a long strange trip it's been. =)

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