Some rude(ish) jokes

Dark Atheist

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A farmer in Devon has made history by growing a field of dildos!
Unfortunately he's had a lot of trouble with squatters!


85% of Liverpudlian males say they enjoy sex in the shower........ The other 15% haven't been to prison yet


I'm really p*ssed off! Someone's just crashed into my car in one of them new Skodas. There's f.......g jam and sponge everywhere!


Bastards! Just been thrown out & barred from the local swimming baths because I had my Speedo trunks on! What I didn't know was the 'S' had come off the logo!!


Just bought a racehorse called 'My Face', It may not be any good but I
can't wait to hear all the women in the crowd screaming 'come on .. .My face


I've just been 2 my first Muslim birthday party! Musical chairs was a
bit slow but f*ck me pass the parcel was fast!


The latest club craze is to fill a woman's vagina with vodka and then
suck it out using a straw. Doctors are warning about the dangers of
minge drinking


I dunno what all the fuss is about this shark coming to Cornwall . It's
the first thing in ages that's tried to get in this country that's
f*cking white !!


2 Irish couples decide to swap partners. Afterwards Paddy said to
Murphy that's the best f*ck I've ever had, I wonder how the girls got on ?


If mothers Celebrate mothers day, fathers celebrate fathers day, lovers
celebrate valentines day, do wankers celebrate palm sunday?


Paddy weighs 20st, so his doctor puts him on a diet. 'I want you to
eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day and repeat this for 2 weeks,
you should loose 5lbs.' When Paddy returned, he shocked the doctor by
having lost 4st. 'That?s amazing the doc said'...Paddy nodded...'I'll
tell you be Jesus, I taut I was gonna drop dead by da 3rd day.' 'What
from hunger said the doc?'...'No from the f........g skipping!'*


THE BBC HAVE SAID THAT BLACK AND ASIANS ARE NOT REPRESENTED ENOUGH ON TV
SO THEY'RE PUTTING CRIMEWATCH ON TWICE A WEEK.


Just popped home, caught the plumber with his dick in the dog! Can't
believe the police won't do anything! They said the b*stard was corgi
registered
 

lancer

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thats all wrong i never laughed once, honest...
 

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