Some rude(ish) jokes

Dark Atheist

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#1
A farmer in Devon has made history by growing a field of dildos!
Unfortunately he's had a lot of trouble with squatters!


85% of Liverpudlian males say they enjoy sex in the shower........ The other 15% haven't been to prison yet


I'm really p*ssed off! Someone's just crashed into my car in one of them new Skodas. There's f.......g jam and sponge everywhere!


Bastards! Just been thrown out & barred from the local swimming baths because I had my Speedo trunks on! What I didn't know was the 'S' had come off the logo!!


Just bought a racehorse called 'My Face', It may not be any good but I
can't wait to hear all the women in the crowd screaming 'come on .. .My face


I've just been 2 my first Muslim birthday party! Musical chairs was a
bit slow but f*ck me pass the parcel was fast!


The latest club craze is to fill a woman's vagina with vodka and then
suck it out using a straw. Doctors are warning about the dangers of
minge drinking


I dunno what all the fuss is about this shark coming to Cornwall . It's
the first thing in ages that's tried to get in this country that's
f*cking white !!


2 Irish couples decide to swap partners. Afterwards Paddy said to
Murphy that's the best f*ck I've ever had, I wonder how the girls got on ?


If mothers Celebrate mothers day, fathers celebrate fathers day, lovers
celebrate valentines day, do wankers celebrate palm sunday?


Paddy weighs 20st, so his doctor puts him on a diet. 'I want you to
eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day and repeat this for 2 weeks,
you should loose 5lbs.' When Paddy returned, he shocked the doctor by
having lost 4st. 'That?s amazing the doc said'...Paddy nodded...'I'll
tell you be Jesus, I taut I was gonna drop dead by da 3rd day.' 'What
from hunger said the doc?'...'No from the f........g skipping!'*


THE BBC HAVE SAID THAT BLACK AND ASIANS ARE NOT REPRESENTED ENOUGH ON TV
SO THEY'RE PUTTING CRIMEWATCH ON TWICE A WEEK.


Just popped home, caught the plumber with his dick in the dog! Can't
believe the police won't do anything! They said the b*stard was corgi
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Perris Calderon wrote on Electronic Punk's profile.
Ep, glad to see you come back and tidy up...did want to ask a one day favor, I want to enhance my resume , was hoping you could make me administrator for a day, if so, take me right off since I won't be here to do anything, and don't know the slightest about the board, but it would be nice putting "served administrator osnn", if can do, THANKS

Been running around Quora lately, luv it there https://tinyurl.com/ycpxl
Electronic Punk wrote on Perris Calderon's profile.
All good still mate?
Hello, is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me ...
Xie
What a long strange trip it's been. =)

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