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Read Them and Cringe

#1
Read Them and Cringe

1 . Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love
and get married. The ceremony wasn't much,
but the reception was excellent.

2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says,
"I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender
says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a
salted.

5. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

6. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt
under his arm and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."

7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says
to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

8. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green
Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones
Syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's Not Unusual."

9. Two cows standing next to each other in a field,
Daisy says to Dolly,"I was artificially inseminate
this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's
true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

10. An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
The kids were nothing to look at either.

11.Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this
bull before.

12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and
says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything
you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet,
"let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog
up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him
down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No,
because he's really heavy."

13. Apparently, one in five people in the world
are Chinese. And there are five people in my
family, so it must be one of them. It's either my
mom or my dad, or maybe my older brother
Colin or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu.
But I'm pretty sure it's Colin.

14. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the
other day but I couldn't find any.

15. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet
him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off
the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too
high."

16. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious
accident. He shouted,
"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor
replied, "I know youcan't - I've cut off your arms!"

17. I went to a seafood disco last week... and
pulled a mussel.

18. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly;
but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving
that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

19. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

20. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is
the bar tender here?"

21. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender
says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
 

Aprox

Moderator
Political User
#2
Oh man, at first I just smiled... but slowly as I went down the list I gave in to the cheesy humor and started to laugh my ass off. Good stuff :)
 

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