Today AT&T called.... here's a paraphrased transcript:
TM: Hi, we're with AT&T. May I ask you how much you spend on long distance? We might be able to save you money on long distance.
Me: Sure, no problem. 0 minutes per month.
TM: Oh, you don't use long distance? I think we can still save you money, your local telco might be charging you for not having a long distance carrier
Me: I'm not sure about that. Plus I have DSL with them and they give me a discount since I have many services with them.
TM: Oh, is that like that computer thing?
Me: Yes. Yes it is. Digital Subscriber's line.
TM: Oh, we have the fastest internet service.
Me: How fast?
TM: My manager tells me that's 5x faster than anything available from our nearest competitor.
Me: Really? But how fast is it
TM: Could you hold on just a second? I think I have to ask my manager that.
Me: Ok
.....................................................
TM: It is way faster than AOL, because I remember I used to have AOL and it is faster than AOL services.
Me: Well, I'm already at a faster speed, do you know the exact speed?
TM: I think it's either 8 or 9 GIGABYTES
Me: Woah, that's fast. Do you mean 8 or 9 Gigabytes per second?
TM: I think so sir. Let me connect you to my manager and he'll explain it all to you.
Me: OK
....................................................
Manager: Hello Sir, I'm such and such's manager, what was your question again?
Me: How fast is your internet connection?
Manager: It's 5 times faster than anything else
Me: So is it like 15Megabits then? I have a 3Megabit connection, so you're saying you have a 15Megabit connection?
Manager: That's right sir.
Me: How much is this wonderful service?
Manager: $14.95 per month.
Me: Woah, where do I sign? You mean I can get something about 10 times faster than a T1 line, which costs a thousand+ of dollars per month for only $14.95?
Manager: That's correct sir, and we also offer [insert list of features that I could get just by installing the software I already have, spam blocker, pop up blocker, etc.]
Me: Woah, that's incredible. But I think you have no idea what you're talking about.
Manager: Of course I do, I manage this
Me: So I can get a 15Mbit line at my house for a measly 14.95? Ok then, I'll write this down, and if you guys don't have 15Mbit that could be false advertisement couldn't it
Manager: It might fluctuate a bit, it's probably not gonna be max speed all the time.
Me: I don't wanna knock on your service, but I think you should inform yourself better than that before you try and sell it. I doubt that you have something that fast. That's incredible.
Manager: I know sir, and many people call and they can't believe just how fast our dial up is.
Me: Oh, we're talking about 56k here?
Manager: 56k or 60k sir. The speed might fluctuate a bit.
Me: I thought you said you was faster. Right now I'm getting around 3000k, and you're telling me 56k is faster?
Manager:[stuttering, starts mad ad libs then noticeably starts reading from a paper ]
Me: Well, I know my stuff, so I really think you guys should inform yourselves before you start selling it. Sorry I'm not switching
Manager: Ok sir, thank you for calling AT&T
Why do people hate telemarketers? I love to be able to verbally abuse them and try to get them pissed off, but they never just hang up on me though, which is what makes it fun, they're probably scared someone up high will listen to the recordings and fire them, so they can't talk crap or hang up on me. It's great Keep on calling!
