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Bible Salesman

#1
So I woke up this morning to the sound of my door bell, little did I know I was to be hit with some serious questionage. I open the door and there sit 2 women, 1 as homely as grandmother’s ass and the other hotter than hot, the hotness that comes with a world of peaceful living. Now with that in mind, in swoops the beginning to a very interesting morning, really……First question.


Homely As GMA - “I didn’t wake you up did I?”

/me – “Um no….its 10am on a weekday, what do you take me for?” (/me was actually sleeping)

HAGMA – “Mind if I ask you a few questions?”

/me – “Sure!” (I’m still not quite sure if I want to be here or if I really am, and trying to figure out just who the hell is ringing my door bell at -10`C with a foot of fresh snow on the door step early in the morning.)

HAGMA – (takes a deep breath) “During these times of turmoil, with all the happenings on the news and trouble in the world, do you think there is any hope for happiness?”

/me – (sputters and takes a moment) “Um, okay sure” (I’ll say just about any thing to get her off my door step, and end the strange pressure building up in my forehead)

HAGMA – (an evil grin spreads) “What about peaceful solutions though the path of our lord God? Do you believe that a supreme being created us all and governs the fate of our lives?”

/me – (thinks to self, wouldn’t God’s followers be freezing their asses off in this weather? These ladies don’t seem to mind at all, perhaps they are hot out of hell and minions of Lucifer, *keeping this in mind with a stunned look) “Its 10am in the morning lady and I just got out of bed, yes that’s right damn it, its my day off and I want to enjoy it for every sinful moment now get the hell off my door step.” (maybe a bit exaggerated, but safe to say they hit the road, although not before leaving a package of their deadly art)
Afterwards, thinking well maybe they weren’t “so” bad, I start to flip though the pamphlet they left. On the cover was a picture of kids hugging panda bears and building a big red house…….fearing the worst I cracked back the malevolently designed paperwork, dribble, dribble and crap…. into the garbage it went. I can’t believe they used the war to sell their religion, have they no scruples? Their only goal is to gain mass fanatical followers of their one god and run the world with false righteousness and “morals”.

Check it out for yourselves, I scanned the book. And don’t answer the door early in the morning.
 
W

WAM

Guest
#3
I had a similar experience on my day off, except they were both old hags............in any case i let them ramble on for what seemed like an eternity and finally when they paused to await my reply to some inane question, I said " you do realise im an atheist neo-Nazi with Jewish parents?"

They never returned since.
 
#4
Nice!! I'd love to have a camera for the expression on their faces. The least they know about me and my beliefs the better I think, why waste my time and theirs trying to explain that they are a root of evil unto themselves.....
 
#6
I got a similar situation but in my E-mail box.It says: War in Iraq: Can we find unity in our humanity? for bishop John Shelby.
(it's all for $$$$$)

the title doesn't match what he says:

1. Iraq harbors terrorists. But so do Palestine, Syria, Saudi Arabia and Pakistan. It is also a fact that Germany, Great Britain and the United States have been home to terrorists groups

I believe, because this case for war against Iraq is so weak, that there has been a vigorous attempt at the highest levels of our government to link Saddam with the terrorists of 9/11. But, such a linkage has been denied in every intelligence briefing to Congress, a fact noted by the bipartisan chair and vice-chair of the Senate Intelligence Committee. But, then the war hawks shout, 'did not the citizens of Iraq cheer the September 11 attack upon the United States with parades of chanting people in the streets?' Yes, but so did many people in Syria, Saudi Arabia, Palestine, Egypt and Pakistan.
 
C

cat826237

Guest
#8
Workable Solution

I work the night shift and one of the guys on my crew kept getting regular visits from the Witnesses. After getting woke up 4-5 times he went to the door buck naked. Problem solved, no more wakeups.
 
#9
Re: Workable Solution

Originally posted by cat826237
I work the night shift and one of the guys on my crew kept getting regular visits from the Witnesses. After getting woke up 4-5 times he went to the door buck naked. Problem solved, no more wakeups.
ROLF! :D That's hilarious!
 

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