Blame me for the RAZR's
"I could have won in '06," he said of the election, won by Democrat Jennifer Granholm ("She is not doing an ugly job, but as the perfect woman, she is scrotumless.")
"A topless grandmother in a sofa surrounded by dog feces? If you're poor, you can't have a dog! You start by eating the [bleep]ing pets! Am I out of my mind?"