Recent content by itsmelisa

  1. itsmelisa

    Its not a adult joke!!!

    Preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that...
  2. itsmelisa

    Elderly propose for marriage

    There were these two elderly people living in a Florida old age home. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. Now, one evening, there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As...
  3. itsmelisa

    How to put the right person in the right chair?

    Does your Company have a problem in recruiting the right person for the right chair? If yes, try this simple experiment. Put around 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2-3 candidates into the room and close it from outside. Leave them alone...
  4. itsmelisa

    The funny job test:::

    Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking: "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?" Tom says: "I...
  5. itsmelisa

    Annual idiot award 2006

    Annual Idiot Awards for the year 2006 Number One Idiot of 2006 I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are...
  6. itsmelisa

    Funny joke

    When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried...
  7. itsmelisa

    Two funny jokes in this thread...

    A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms. "Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The...
  8. itsmelisa

    Lipstick print on the mirror :)

    According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little...
  9. itsmelisa

    How to test that who is the intelligent...

    While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. Bush asks how she knows if they're intelligent. "I do so by asking them the right questions," says the...
  10. itsmelisa

    Back on your heads now

    A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in **** up to their necks. The guy says "no, let me see the next room." In the second room, people are standing with **** up...
  11. itsmelisa

    Top 5 Smartest Answers

    1) It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied. 2) A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she...
  12. itsmelisa

    If You Try To Be Over Talented!!

    The Pope is visiting town and all the residents are dressed up in their best Sunday clothes. Everyone lines up on main street hoping for a personal blessing from the Pope. One local man has put on his best suit and he’s sure the Pope will stop and talk to him. He is standing next to an...
  13. itsmelisa

    How about keeping a pet for fun??

    A single guy decides life would be more fun if he had a pet. He went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede (100-legged bug), which came in a little white box to use for its house. He took the box back...
  14. itsmelisa

    Bobby's letter for god

    Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. Mom, I want a bike for my birthday. Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and...
  15. itsmelisa

    Funny one read this out

    One night, a delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above new jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, michael jordan, bill gates, the dali lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began...