You're Not Australian Until:

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by Anakist, Jan 7, 2004.

  1. Anakist

    Anakist Way too much time here...

    Messages:
    255
    Location:
    Rockhampton Q Australia
    1: You've mimicked Alf Stewart from the tv show, Home And Away, in a
    broad australian accent. Eg: "push off, ya flamin drongo!"

    2: You've had an arguement with your mate whether Ford or Holden make a
    better car.

    3: You've done the "hot sand" dance while running from the ocean back
    to your towel.

    4: You know who Ray Martin is.

    5: You start using words like "bloody" and "grouse" and start calling
    people "champ".

    6: You stop greeting people with "hello" and go straight to "how ya
    doin?"

    7: You've seriously considered running down to the shops in a pair of
    ugh boots.

    8: You own a pair of ugh boots.

    9: You've been to a day/nighter cricket match and screamed out
    incomprehensibly until your throat went raw.

    10: You know the first verse to the national anthem but be buggered if
    you know what "girt" means.

    11: You have a story that somehow revolves around the excessive
    consumption of alcohol and a mate named "Dave".

    12: You've risked attending an outdoor music festival on the hottest day
    of the year.

    13: You've tried to hang off a clothes line while pretending you can
    fly.

    14: You've had to visit the emergency room after hanging off the clothes
    line pretending you can fly.

    15: You own a pair of thongs for every day use and a pair of "dress
    thongs" for special occassions.

    16: You don't know what's in a meat pie and you don't care.

    17: You pronounce Australia as "Straya".

    18: You call soccer "soccer" not "football".

    19: You've squeezed vegemite through vitawheats to make vegemite worms.

    20: You suck your coffee through a timtam.

    21: You realise that lifeguards are the only people that can get away
    with wearing speedos.

    22: You pledge allegiance to Vegemite over Promite.

    23: You understand the value of a public holiday.

    24: Your weekends are spent barracking for your favourite sports team.

    25: You have a toilet dolly (a (usually crocheted) doll with a victorian hoop skirt that is hollow and goes over the toilet brush. Hangs down to the floor so you can't tell you have a toilet brush).

    26: You've played beach cricket with a ball and bat fashioned out of a
    fence post.

    27: You firmly believe in the end, everything will be ok and have told a
    friend in tough times that "She'll be right, mate".

    28: You use the phrase "no worries" at least once a day.

    29: You've been on a beach holiday and have probably stayed in a
    caravan.

    30: You constantly shorten words to "brekkie", "arvo" and "barbie".

    31: You've adopted a local bar as your own.

    32: You know the oath of mateship can never be limited by geographical
    distance.

    James
     
  2. Erbmaster

    Erbmaster Moderator Folding Team

    Messages:
    1,195
    Location:
    Middle Of Nowhere - UK
    Hehe. Some good stuff there, but gutted the Galah wasn't included.
    I thought having one of those hit your UHT was customary? :p

    :eek: 25: You have a toilet dolly. *shudders* I don't really wanna ask,
    but, well I can't help myself.
    WTF is one of those?
     
  3. Anakist

    Anakist Way too much time here...

    Messages:
    255
    Location:
    Rockhampton Q Australia
    It is a (usually crocheted) doll with a victorian hoop skirt that is hollow and goes over the toilet brush. Hangs down to the floor so you can't tell you have a toilet brush.

    James
     
  4. Erbmaster

    Erbmaster Moderator Folding Team

    Messages:
    1,195
    Location:
    Middle Of Nowhere - UK
    ahhh I see, phew! *wipes brow* for a minute there.....
     
  5. Anakist

    Anakist Way too much time here...

    Messages:
    255
    Location:
    Rockhampton Q Australia
    Edited just for Erbmaster.

    James
     
  6. Erbmaster

    Erbmaster Moderator Folding Team

    Messages:
    1,195
    Location:
    Middle Of Nowhere - UK
  7. Grendel

    Grendel OSNN One Post Wonder

    Messages:
    7
    Did you also include:

    Lose to England 5 consecutive times at Rugby (including the World Cup Final)?
     
  8. Anakist

    Anakist Way too much time here...

    Messages:
    255
    Location:
    Rockhampton Q Australia
    No because that is crap!!!!

    Hehehe :D

    James
     
  9. Erbmaster

    Erbmaster Moderator Folding Team

    Messages:
    1,195
    Location:
    Middle Of Nowhere - UK
    /me breaks out the popcorn....o_0
     
  10. coathanger007

    coathanger007 Tomorrow Tweaking Today

    Messages:
    1,520
    Location:
    Australia
    lol. Hey you might want to send this in to The End section in the PC Authority magazine. Could win some software. If you don't then I certainly will with your permission.:)
     
  11. Anakist

    Anakist Way too much time here...

    Messages:
    255
    Location:
    Rockhampton Q Australia
    Go for it. I am in Aust so I have no idea what you are talking about. Maybe send me a copy of whatever you win.

    James