You Know Your Scottish When... 1. You can pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, Sauchiehall St, St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake. 2. You actually like deep fried battered pizza from the chip shop. 3. Your used to four seasons in one day. 4. You cant pass a chip/kebab shop without saliva dripping from your mouth. 5. You can fall about drunk without spilling your drink. 6. You can see people wearing shell suits with burberry accessories and think its smart. 7. You measure distance in minutes 8. You can understand Rab C Nesbit and know characters like him in your family. 9. You can make whole sentences by just using swear words. 10. You know what haggis is made from yet you still eat it. 11. Somebody you know used the football schedule to plan their wedding date. 12. You ve been at a wedding and the football scores are announced in the church/chapel. 13. You arent surprised to find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips, iron bru, cigarettes and nappies all at your local pakistani shop 14. Your holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it. 15. You know Iron Bru is a hangover cure 16. You learned to swear before you learned to do sums.