Why We Need Lawyers

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by belveder, Aug 16, 2003.

  1. belveder

    belveder OSNN Senior Addict

    Messages:
    267
    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    Why We Have Lawyers

    1. January 2000. Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running amok inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering that the misbehaving tyke was Ms. Robertson's son.

    2. June 1998. Nineteen-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over Carl's hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice that someone was at the wheel of the car whose hubcap he was trying to steal.

    3. October 1998. Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was exiting a house he had finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up as the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't reenter the house because the door between the garage and the house had locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, so Mr.Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. This upset Mr.Dickson, so he sued the homeowner's insurance company, claiming the situation had caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of half a million dollars and change.

    4. October 1999. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced-in yard. Mr. Williams was also in the yard. The award was less than the amount sought because the jury felt that the dog may have been provoked by Mr. Williams, who, at the time, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

    5. May 2000. A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her coccyx. The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson threw it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

    6. December 1997. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two front teeth. This occurred when Ms. Walton was trying to sneak out through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
     
  2. scriptasylum

    scriptasylum Moderator

    Messages:
    832
    Location:
    Des Moines,IA
    :mad: :mad: :mad: Argg! :mad: :mad: :mad:

    This is a joke right? If not, it should be. Any jury member, laywer, and judge invloved in awarding these imbeciles any amount of money should be put in jail! Oh wait, I shouldn't have said that, I might get sued now. :rolleyes:
     
  3. funky dredd

    funky dredd Moderator

    Messages:
    2,346
    Location:
    Florida
    Hahaha...seen this before! Still good!
     
  4. Codasmd

    Codasmd Old School XPeriencer

    Messages:
    495
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA.
    Sadly...probably not a joke....

    ...and then there was the guy who stole an offroad recreational vehicle (atv or quad) from a garage...wrecked it on the way off the property...injured himself...sued...

    and won, in the amount of $100,000 plus....

    I know of more but too drunk to keep typing....

    pretty amazing stuff....
     
  5. Smoke286

    Smoke286 Smokeater

    Messages:
    314
    Location:
    Canada
    Why do we need lawyers? target practice?
     
  6. Friend of Bill

    Friend of Bill What, me worry?

    Messages:
    1,572
    Sued...? I'd worry about the Feds shown' up.:D
     
  7. Un4gIvEn1

    Un4gIvEn1 Moderator

    Messages:
    1,084
    Lets not forget about the old man who sued Winnebego because he put his RV on cruise control traveling at like 60, and went to use the bathroom in the back of the RV. The RV went off the road and tumbled a couple times, but the man lived. He was awarded millions of dollars because nowhere in the Winnebago owner's manual does it state that you should not leave the wheel while operating the vehicle in cruise control... (rather genius defense, I think...)
     
  8. lechtard

    lechtard Guest

    These are so funny - I can't believe some of them, I was watching a television about some of these and could'nt believe what some of the people got. It was rediculous yet funny at the same time because it shows how stupid some people can be ...
     
  9. Geffy

    Geffy Moderator Folding Team

    Messages:
    7,805
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    If you are in the act of committing a crime your rights pertaining to that situation are out of the window, thats how it should be
     
  10. Friend of Bill

    Friend of Bill What, me worry?

    Messages:
    1,572
    Remember the guy committing crimes and resisting arrest, he got millions off the tax payers of LA (I think it was Rodney King)...:confused:
     
  11. Codasmd

    Codasmd Old School XPeriencer

    Messages:
    495
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA.
    Then there was the kid from my hometown.....

    On top of a roof of a highschool gymnasium....vandalising the school....feel through a skylight on the roof.


    Instantly became a quadrapalegic....sued and won for something like 7 million dollars.


    I mean...he lost (big time) but why should the school system be responsible for his poor judgement....?

    Is it like this in other countries?
     
  12. Glaanieboy

    Glaanieboy Moderator

    Messages:
    2,626
    Location:
    The Netherlands
    You don't find cases like this in Holland, where we don't have a jury who can be persuaded. Personally, I find that a good thing.