things you will never hear from a woman

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by ZeroHour, Jun 18, 2004.

  1. ZeroHour

    ZeroHour ho3 ho3 ho3

    1. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.
    2. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you
    for ignoring me.
    3. My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for
    you and your friends.
    4. Your mom's cooking is way better than mine.
    5. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed.
    If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.
    6. Bar food again!? Kick a$$.
    7. Don't dirty up your T-shirt wiping that up, use my blouse.
    8. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go
    over and talk to her.
    9. I love hearing stories about your old girlfriends, tell me more.
    10. I like using this new lawn mower so much more than the old one,
    what a wonderful Valentine's Day gift!
    11. Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, and then you
    don't have to mess with it anymore.
    12. It's only the third quarter; you should order a couple more pitchers.
    13. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle; I don't think I'll ever change it again.
    14. Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and scotch.
    You passed out before brushing your teeth again, ya' big silly!
    15. You are so much smarter than my father.
    16. What do you mean today's our anniversary?
    17. Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV.
    18. Ohhhhhh, this diamond is wayyyyyyyyy tooooooo big!
    19. Can our relationship get a little more physical? I'm tired of being 'just friends'.
    20. Honey, does this outfit make my butt look too small?
    21. Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure
    out how to get there.
    22. I don't care if it's on sale; $300 is way too much for a designer dress.
    23. Hey, pull my finger!
    25. Shopping isn't everything!
    25. I don't care if he gets me anything for Valentine's Day.
    26. Honey, why don't you take those smelly old socks off and I'll give you
    a foot massage?
    27. Housework is my hobby.
    28. I LOVE the smell of a cigar.
    29. It will only take me five minutes to get ready for the Christmas party.
    30. My favorite way to meet people? Wear a short dress and high heels,
    go to the mall at night, and park in a remote, unlit lot.
    31. He ALWAYS understands me!
    32. I LOVE washing dishes!
    33. I wouldn't miss the "Miss America Pageant" for ANYTHING!
    34. Childbirth isn't so bad!
    35. I ALWAYS trust my husband.
    36. I don't need another pair of shoes.
    37. I sure do envy Hillary Clinton.
    38. Men really ARE smarter!
    39. I know my parents are in the other room but I want you right now!

    <____________ MORE AT POST 6 IN THIS THREAD :D LOOK DOWN KIDDIES ____________>
  2. Lee

    Lee OSNN Proxy

    Well maybe thats the women you know, not my gf, nor I guess from knowing her here and what she gets upto Marge.

    I see it's and American theme, well that's why you need a good English woman, full of fire in their bellies and real ruff n ready when you need a mate!
  3. ZeroHour

    ZeroHour ho3 ho3 ho3

    ;) or scottish :)
  4. Lee

    Lee OSNN Proxy

    Scottish what?
  5. ZeroHour

    ZeroHour ho3 ho3 ho3

    Women :D
    They are full of fire too. Especially in the bed ;)
  6. ZeroHour

    ZeroHour ho3 ho3 ho3

    <^^^^^^^^^^^^^ MORE OF THEM :D ^^^^^^^^^^^^^>

    here are some more:

    1.( to some other girl at the beach ) That swimsuit really flatters your figure! Would you mind keeping my husband company while I go for a swim?
    2.( to her girlgriends) He earned more than I do, so I broke up with him.
    3.I'm sick of dating doctors and lawyers! Give me a good old-fashioned waiter with a heart of gold any day!
    4.Why I just realized -- my butt doesn't look fat in this -- my butt *is* fat!
    5.This diamond is way too big.
    6.I'm wrong, you must be right again.
    7.I think belching is really sexy.
    8.Why don't you go out with your friends tonight?
    9.I insist that you always put your mother before me.
    10.I think we should spend our life savings and buy a big, old bass boat.
    11.Move over, I'm driving. I love city traffic.
    12.Let’s skip that stage show with Mel Gibson and go watch the Tyson fight at a bar.
    13.Hey, we didn't have sex last night!
    14.That shirt doesn't smell bad enough to need washing. Wear it again today.
    15.Your buddies tell the best stories. I could listen to them all day.
    16.I understand.
    17.You don't swear enough.
    18.I love it when you give people the finger while you drive.
    19.Let's stay at that dirty, old motel on the highway. It's cheaper and we can spend the money we save on beer.
    20.Sure, you can wear your old cowboy boots at our wedding. They go with anything.
    21.I've decided to buy myself a b()()b job. How big do you want them?
  7. n0d3

    n0d3 the 4um stalker

    my parent's house
    my girlfriend has said many of those.... 15. You are so much smarter than my father. <- she really does think that though.. her dad was a junior high dropout.