The Tequila TEST!

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by mlakrid, Aug 28, 2006.

  1. mlakrid

    mlakrid OSNN BASSMASTER Political User Folding Team

    This is an "oldy but a goody" as the saying goes...




    >> > > The Tequila Test
    >> > >
    >> > > A guy walks into a bar, notices a very large
    >> > > jar on the counter, and sees it's filled to the brim
    >> > > with $10 bills. He guesses there must thousands of
    >> > > dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks.
    >> > > "What's up with the jar?"
    >> > >
    >> > > "Well, you pay $10 and if you pass three
    >> > > tests, you get all the money."
    >> > >
    >> > > "What are the three tests?"
    >> > >
    >> > > "Pay first, those are the rules." says the
    >> > > bartender.
    >> > >
    >> > > So the man gives him the $10 and the bartender
    >> > > drops it into the jar.
    >> > >
    >> > > "OK." the bartender says. "Here's what you
    >> > > need to do: First - You have to drink that entire
    >> > > gallon of p epper tequila, the whole thing, all at
    >> > > once...and you can't make a face while doing it.
    >> > >
    >> > > Second, There's a pit bull chained-up out back
    >> > > with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth with
    >> > > your bare hands. Third - There's a 90 year-old woman
    >> > > upstairs who has never reached orgasm during
    >> > > intercourse.
    >> > > You've gotta make things right for her."
    >> > >
    >> > > The man is stunned. "I know I paid my $10, but
    >> > > I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You have to be nuts
    >> > > to drink a gallon of pepper
    >> > > tequila, and then do those other things!"
    >> > >
    >> > > "Your call," says the bartender, "but your
    >> > > money stays where it is."
    >> > > As time goes on and the man has a few drinks,
    >> > > then a few more, he
    >> > > asks, "Where e z zat tequila?" He grabs the
    >> > > gallon with both hands and downs it with a big
    >> > > slurp. Tears are streaming down both cheeks, but he
    >> > > doesn't make a face. Next, he staggers out back
    >> > > where the pit bull is chained-up and soon the people
    >> > > inside the bar hear a huge, noisy, scuffle going on
    >> > > outside. They hear the pit bull barking, the guy
    >> > > screaming, the pit bull yelping and then...silence.
    >> > > Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he
    >> > > staggers back into the bar, with his shirt ripped
    >> > > and large bloody scratches all over his body.
    >> > >
    >> > > "Now," he says. "where's the old woman with
    >> > > the sore tooth?"
     
  2. madmatt

    madmatt Bow Down to the King Political User

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    The poor dog.
     
  3. Vanquished

    Vanquished Mr. Bananagrabber Political User

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    Awww, nasty!
     
  4. X-Istence

    X-Istence * Political User

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    Argh, juck!
     
  5. mlakrid

    mlakrid OSNN BASSMASTER Political User Folding Team

    Come on this is funny stuff...

    :laugh:
     
  6. Vanquished

    Vanquished Mr. Bananagrabber Political User

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    Well you posted it...
     
  7. gonaads

    gonaads Beware the G-Man Political User Folding Team

    Hahahaha... Weeeeeeee... Now, why is the dog quite? :p
     
  8. Ivancin

    Ivancin OSNN One Post Wonder

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    Very funny. i can't stop laughting...hahaha
    i'm going to tell all my friends about this joke
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 8, 2006
  9. Aprox

    Aprox Moderator Political User

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    haha, nice! I didnt see that one coming.