As per TittleBitties’ request, here is my totally messed up week from hell. It actually started last Wednesday at a party at a local student nightclub. A group of exchange students had just arrived and were on their first night out. We ended up walking them home more or less since they didn’t know the way home very well. I started chatting with an American girl (let’s call her R for the record). She was very nice and I and a friend ended up walking her to her door. The next evening I wanted to go to another student pub, because she had hinted that she might go there. My friend didn’t want to come so I went with another friend (S). R showed up and I talked to her for a while whilst I was waiting for some food I had ordered. After I had eaten, S went home because he was tired. So I started talking to R again. We ended up talking all evening, even after the pub had closed (at 11 PM, since it’s summer). We laughed all the time and it was just wonderful, I had a great time. I almost got a cramp in my yaw from laughing. We sat outside the pub until 3 AM, when I walked her home again. We said good night and she gave me a hug. Everything was great so far, I was really happy. We really seemed to go well together. Unfortunately I couldn’t contact her after that since she didn’t have a phone, but she had my number. I tried to find her half of Friday but failed. On Saturday afternoon she called, which was perfect because I wanted to invite her to a party (the reason I was looking for her). She gladly accepted, even though she had made other plans for the night (I found this out later). After a slightly boring party we made our way downtown. After a while at the club we had gone to I noticed that my friend (S) was hitting on her and that she was responding. S is my best friend since four years and he knew that I was interested in R and that’s why I invited her. I just couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I told one of my other friends what was going on and he said he’d talk to S. When we tried to find them again, they were gone. We ran out and found them kissing in the street. My friend approached them, but only got to “hi” before S broke down and told R everything, how I was interested in her and how wrong it was for them to kiss and how bad he felt about it. That didn’t sit to well with her as you can imagine. We managed to keep everyone on the scene so we could talk it out one on one. S said he was really sorry and cried for being such a lousy friend. I could only agree with him. One minute my best friend, the next just another lowlife. R was of course confused, she never realised I was interested because I hadn’t tried to kiss her. I still wonder why that should be required to understand an interest. She said she didn’t want to come between us and the best was if we just cut contact so that no one got hurt. We all went home together, trying to cheer up the mood. She said she’d get a phone and call me so we could talk about this more. This night, as you can imagine, started sh*t week. She didn’t call, but she did send a short message after I had asked for her through one of her friends. It was just “Thanks for asking about me”. Short and polite. This was on Friday this week. On Saturday I sent her a message back to ask her if she was going to the pub that night. I never got an answer but I went there anyway. All her friends were there, but not her. It seemed people had heard about what happened though, because it came up when someone asked about R. It was a bit unclear what had happened since then, but she seemed to have met another guy and fallen for him. That was a possible reason why she wasn’t there. So that’s it then, she found someone else, she just cut me out. I danced for a while and tried to have some fun, but gave up and went home. After saying goodbye to the gang of exchange students I collected my jacket and went out. And what do I see when I step outside? Nothing less than S and R, together on the stairs, smoking. I know for a fact that R didn’t smoke a week earlier and she said she hates smoke. I went up to them and said hello. It turns out they had continued seeing each other after that night, and that they hade avoided me because they didn’t know how to tell me what was going on. S said he was sorry and hoped I wouldn’t hate him and I said it was ok. It’s not of course, but I couldn’t tell him that. R was very sweet as usual and wanted us to be friends and that she really cared for me, but that she cared for S too. She still wanted to talk to me one-on-one and said that she’d call again, or asked me to call. So this is where we are right now. I sent her a message today about seeing her, but as of yet, no response. So what’s the moral of this story? Does the slightly romantic guy who wants to get to know girls before he makes a move get left in the dirt by the guy who just hits on a girl in a bar because she’s cute? It seems so. Do I want to be like the bar guy? Definitely not. And which guy do the girls prefer? The one they feel connected with on a mental plane, or the guy who makes the move first? This is just making me miserable. I usually don’t fall for girls this way; I can’t recall it ever happening. I’m just so head over heals for this girl! And there’s nothing I can do but bite my lip and pretend it’s raining. To all of you who have read this far, thank you (or get a life!). I hope you enjoyed reading this more than I enjoyed living it… Any thoughts, ideas, reflections or even pity?