Student writting

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by Khayman, Jun 16, 2004.

  1. Khayman

    Khayman I'm sorry Hal... Political User Folding Team

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    Swipped from elsewhere

    > When asked to write examples of analogies and
    > metaphors, high school students wrote:

    1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

    2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

    3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

    4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
    room-temperature Canadian beef.

    5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

    6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

    7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

    8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

    9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

    10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled
    with vegetable soup.

    11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
    surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

    12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

    13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

    14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
    15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

    16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

    17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the
    East River.

    18. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

    19. Shots rang out, as shots are known to do.

    20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, his
    plan just might work.

    21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating
    for a while.

    22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

    23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
    behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

    24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with
    power tools.

    25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
     
  2. Electronic Punk

    Electronic Punk Administrator Staff Member Political User Folding Team

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    Quality stuff :)
    Even the spelling mistake in the thread title adds to it

    *runs*
     
  3. Khayman

    Khayman I'm sorry Hal... Political User Folding Team

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    I just copied it wholesale from source, title included :) watch me care
     
  4. Lee

    Lee OSNN Proxy

    I think the net is the cause of such poor spelling and grammar. You know what I mean when you write the same word a thousand times and it still looks wrong.

    I am dyslexic, always have been always will be, that is why sometimes I miss read things, or words look a bit icky!

    If you want to learn very bad English, very bad spelling and grammar, visit UK chat rooms or London rooms they have to contain the worst spellers and grammar you could ever imagine. They reckons it is netequette, ballcoxxx, it's because they're stupid. Khayman is Norwegian, I don't know one word of that language so I forgive him for the odd spelling mistake.

    Good tip though, you think the word don't look right send yourself an e-mail and let spell-checker deal with it. Works for me all of the time ;)
     
  5. onimkron

    onimkron OSNN Senior Addict

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    Has to be my favourite one from the list; can't believe someone would try to write that :)
     
  6. Khayman

    Khayman I'm sorry Hal... Political User Folding Team

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    Ok, it was supposed be just funny but, like, whatever :)

    Norwegian? odd, not what the location box says. :)

    I type quickly and don't check it always, thats why you can forgive the odd error :p
     
  7. Lee

    Lee OSNN Proxy

    You're not a Viking? Ohhh o.k.
     
  8. Electronic Punk

    Electronic Punk Administrator Staff Member Political User Folding Team

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    I did used to sit in my frontroom after a good night and clubbing and couldn't spell the word "the"

    Quality times.
     
  9. Henyman

    Henyman Secret Goat Fetish Political User

    it was only last night :p
     
  10. Lee

    Lee OSNN Proxy

    My worst was in Junior School, the word 'of' I could never understand why it was not 'ov'!

    That's when they sent me to look at funny shapes and words and numbers in dots on weird coloured backgrounds.


    Wooo look at those boobs, save some for me dude.
     
  11. dreamliner77

    dreamliner77 The Analog Kid

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    Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.


    Gotta be a classic.
     
  12. Admiral Michael

    Admiral Michael Michaelsoft Systems CEO Folding Team

    23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
    behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

    lol!
     
  13. LeeJend

    LeeJend Moderator

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    Ah, tomorrow's leaders. Reading their wisdom makes you want to build a cabin in the woods and stock it with MREs and semi-auto weapons.
     
  14. Khayman

    Khayman I'm sorry Hal... Political User Folding Team

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    and picked onions
     
  15. Lee

    Lee OSNN Proxy

    I love pickled onions, mmmm yummy!
     
  16. dreamliner77

    dreamliner77 The Analog Kid

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    Okay, Ted...

    Remember, you too were once like them.
     
  17. NerdUprising

    NerdUprising [ Method ]

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    lol - some of these are so perfect :p