Smart ass answers - Best Of

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by ZeroHour, Dec 9, 2005.

  1. ZeroHour

    ZeroHour ho3 ho3 ho3

    Smart Ass Answer #5: *
    * A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. *
    Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub." *

    * Smart Ass Answer #4: *
    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" *
    * The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead." *
    * Smar t Ass Answer #3: *
    * * The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. *
    * The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could" *
    * When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. *

    * Smart Ass Answer #2: *
    * A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" *
    The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas." *
    * *
    * *
    * A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. *
    * "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" *
    * A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" *
    * The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. *
    * *
    * When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her head and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."*
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2005
  2. ming

    ming OSNN Advanced


    #3. I don't think we'd get away with it in the UK.
  3. ejn74

    ejn74 Folding Master! Political User Folding Team

    Western Iowa
    Those are good. I liked that last one the best.
  4. muzikool

    muzikool Act your wage. Political User

    Very funny. :up:
  5. Grandmaster

    Grandmaster Electronica Addict Political User Folding Team

    Santa Clara, CA
    Har, last one was wicked :D