Senior Citizens golf.

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by Kirrie2001, Jun 16, 2002.

  1. Kirrie2001

    Kirrie2001 Guest

    :D
    An older couple are playing in the annual club championship.
    They are playing in a play off hole and it is down to a 6 inch putt that the wife has to make. She takes her stance and her husband can see her trembling. She putts and misses, they lose the match.
    On the way home in the car her husband is fuming, " I can't believe you missed that putt!" "That putt was no longer than my johnson. "
    The wife just looked over at her husband and smiled and said, "Yes dear, but it was much harder!"
     
  2. Jewelzz

    Jewelzz OSNN Godlike Veteran

    Messages:
    10,977
    Location:
    California
    Muahahaha :D
     
  3. Grinder714

    Grinder714 Guest

    Mabye we should start a xp-erience Jokes section....?

    A newly married man was discussing his honeymoon. He says to his buddy at lunch, "Last night, I rolled over, tapped my beautiful young wife on the shoulder, gave her a wink, and we had ourselves a performance! Later that night, about 2 o'clock, I rolled over, gave my sweetie a nudge, and we had ourselves another performance. Well, being so newly married and not yet tired of the task, I waited quietly in bed while my beauty slept until I couldn't wait any longer. It was 4 o'clock when I gave her a little nudge. She opened her blue eyes and smiled sweetly. We immediately had ourselves a rehearsal."
    "A rehearsal?" his buddy asks, "Don't you mean a performance?"

    "No, because a rehearsal is when nobody comes."
    :D
     
  4. GoNz0

    GoNz0 NTFS Stoner

    Messages:
    2,781
    Location:
    the year 2525
    Grandma's letter

    The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker.

    I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put in on my bumper.

    I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is and I didn't notice that the light had changed.

    It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.

    I found that LOTS of people love Jesus. Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind me started honking like crazy, and when he leaned out of his window and screamed, "for the love of God, GO! GO!" What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus.

    Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people.

    I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love. There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach...

    I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. When I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant, he said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

    Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back.

    My grandson burst out laughing, why even he was enjoying this religious experience.

    A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.

    I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.

    So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers grinning, and drove on through the intersection.

    I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.