>Only in Britain...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. > > >Only in Britain...do Supermarkets make the sick people walk all the way >to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy >people can buy cigarettes at the front. > > >Only in Britain...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, >and a DIET coke. > > >Only in Britain...do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to >the counters. > > >Only in Britain...do we use the word "politics" to describe the process >of Government. "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning >"bloodsucking creatures." > > >Only in Britain...do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the >drive and put our junk in the garage. > > >Only in Britain...do we buy hot dogs in packs of ten and buns in packs >of eight. > > >Only in Britain...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then >have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want >to talk to in the first place. > > >Only in Britain...are there handicap parking places in front of a >skating rink. > > >3 people die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue. > > >142 people were injured in 1998 by not removing all pins from new shirts. > > >58 people are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of >screwdrivers. > > >31 people have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while >the fairy lights were plugged in. > > >19 people have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas >decorations were chocolate. > > >Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents. > > >101 people since 1997 have had to have broken parts of plastic toys >pulled out of the soles of their feet. > > >18 people had serious burns in 1998 trying on a new jumper with a lit >cigarette in their mouth. > > >A massive 543 people were admitted to A&E in the last two years after >opening bottles of beer with their teeth. > > >5 people were injured last year in accidents involving out of control >Scalectrix cars. > > >8 people cracked their skull in 1997 after falling asleep while >throwing up into the toilet.