Only in Britain

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by indyjones, May 7, 2004.

  1. indyjones

    indyjones OSNN.net Adventurer

    Messages:
    1,567
    Location:
    England
    >Only in Britain...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
    >
    >
    >Only in Britain...do Supermarkets make the sick people walk all the way
    >to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy
    >people can buy cigarettes at the front.
    >
    >
    >Only in Britain...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries,
    >and a DIET coke.
    >
    >
    >Only in Britain...do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
    >the counters.
    >
    >
    >Only in Britain...do we use the word "politics" to describe the process
    >of Government. "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning
    >"bloodsucking creatures."
    >
    >
    >Only in Britain...do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
    >drive and put our junk in the garage.
    >
    >
    >Only in Britain...do we buy hot dogs in packs of ten and buns in packs
    >of eight.
    >
    >
    >Only in Britain...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
    >have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want
    >to talk to in the first place.
    >
    >
    >Only in Britain...are there handicap parking places in front of a
    >skating rink.
    >
    >
    >3 people die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
    >
    >
    >142 people were injured in 1998 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
    >
    >
    >58 people are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
    >screwdrivers.
    >
    >
    >31 people have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while
    >the fairy lights were plugged in.
    >
    >
    >19 people have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
    >decorations were chocolate.
    >
    >
    >Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.
    >
    >
    >101 people since 1997 have had to have broken parts of plastic toys
    >pulled out of the soles of their feet.
    >
    >
    >18 people had serious burns in 1998 trying on a new jumper with a lit
    >cigarette in their mouth.
    >
    >
    >A massive 543 people were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
    >opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
    >
    >
    >5 people were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
    >Scalectrix cars.
    >
    >
    >8 people cracked their skull in 1997 after falling asleep while
    >throwing up into the toilet.
     
  2. zino

    zino OSNN Junior Addict

    Messages:
    46
    those damm brits i tell you! :D
     
  3. Lee

    Lee OSNN Proxy

    Rhetoric....

    If I was an Alien and was told all of this before visiting England, Scotland or Northern Ireland (yes America aint the only place to get visits from little green dudes with shiny eyes) I would think why don't these people shop around.
    This country is so *ucked up with PC people, illegal immigrants and to mention lazy people who won't do a hard days work, nowonder we have the piss taken out of us from everywhere around the world.

    We need to become a communist state, that will sort the problems.
     
  4. indyjones

    indyjones OSNN.net Adventurer

    Messages:
    1,567
    Location:
    England
    :p its not even a challenge taking the piss out of Americans thought ;)
     
  5. zino

    zino OSNN Junior Addict

    Messages:
    46
    nope..all you have to do is compare us to da frenchies :D
     
  6. rushm001

    rushm001 In the beginning...... Political User

    Messages:
    3,480
    Location:
    Norfolk, UK
    So true!!
     
  7. SPeedY_B

    SPeedY_B I may actually be insane.

    Messages:
    15,800
    Location:
    Midlands, England
  8. Lee

    Lee OSNN Proxy

    I can't wait to move to south west England, being this close to the French is like cramping my style (that's being nice).
     
  9. unknownsoul

    unknownsoul Moderator

    Messages:
    601
    Location:
    Fort Worth, Texas
    seen a list like that except it said only in the USA or Texas-something like that.
     
  10. pluto

    pluto OSNN Addict

    Messages:
    202
    Half of that is the 'Only in America' thing.
     
  11. Krux

    Krux Nissan Powered

    Messages:
    1,649
    >Only in Britain...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries,
    >and a DIET coke.

    thats not true i see fat people at tacobell and mc donalds all the time do this, all the while I'm rolling my eyes thinking wtf is the point in a diet soda when your eating HERE?!?!
     
  12. gonaads

    gonaads Beware the G-Man Political User Folding Team

    I ain't dead yet. :D
     
  13. indyjones

    indyjones OSNN.net Adventurer

    Messages:
    1,567
    Location:
    England
    lol soo true "shudder"

    I agre the first half is fairly generic, but I like the points towards the end "58 people are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers". like these, especially as a mate decided to change his graphics card yusing the same method! :eek: :D
     
  14. indyjones

    indyjones OSNN.net Adventurer

    Messages:
    1,567
    Location:
    England
    lol I dont get how its fatal ? Mabe it messes with pacemakers or something :rolleyes:
     
  15. zino

    zino OSNN Junior Addict

    Messages:
    46
    I so have been thinking about this, and i just can't come up with a way you brits can manage to do this....

    I ran this stat by some of my brits co-workers (anyone know about messagelabs? uk folks speciall), and some how, they were like, ohh yeah, ive heard about that...:D
     
  16. rushm001

    rushm001 In the beginning...... Political User

    Messages:
    3,480
    Location:
    Norfolk, UK
    If I go to burger king or KFC I do that, only because I prefer Diet coke to the normal stuff! Don't go to McDonalds though!
     
  17. SPeedY_B

    SPeedY_B I may actually be insane.

    Messages:
    15,800
    Location:
    Midlands, England
    Good call :D
     
  18. Graebob

    Graebob Generally Random

    Messages:
    241
    Location:
    Middlesbrough, UK
    My hometown is modelled on american towns. A little america in england :D
     
  19. Lee

    Lee OSNN Proxy


    I always test mt calculator batteries with my tongue, buzz for working no buzz for dead.
     
  20. ZeroHour

    ZeroHour ho3 ho3 ho3

    Messages:
    1,118
    Location:
    Scotland