Obituary: Common Sense

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by rotjong, Sep 8, 2004.

  1. rotjong

    rotjong Moderator

    The far side of nowhere
    Obituary For Common Sense

    Today we mourn the passing of an beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair.

    Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting (adults, not kids, are in charge). His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harrassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

    Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement.

    Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Descretion; his daughter, Reponsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers, My Rights and Ima Whiner. He is also survived by his old nemesis, Stupidity.

    Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

    ZeroHour likes this.
  2. ZeroHour

    ZeroHour ho3 ho3 ho3

    Too true
  3. Perris Calderon

    Perris Calderon Moderator Staff Member Political User

    new york
    this email is making it around the internet as if it has some validity, so I decided to go point on point;

    there are always those people that will feel the new generation has lost something, you remember people saying the same thing when we were growing up, don't you.

    it seems obvious to me that with every generation, we have grown.

    find me a person that wants to live in those times past, and I'll find you a thousand that would choose today and tomorrow.

    'Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with
    sexual harassment for kissing a classmate'

    I don't know about you, but if a boy kisses my child without her permission, that would be more then harassment...I'm happy events like this will show parents what they need to teach their children as regards to others rights as human beings in America

    'a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch'

    uhm, it was alcohol, disguised as mouthwash to cover up his guile...a mint or gum or spray or binacha would have been fine, don't you think?

    'and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition'

    "reprimand" ...interesting word...I've seen overzealous teachers "reprimand" children with a slap in the face for "offenses" that that no one else considered an offense at all...anyone else see this?

    'Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband'

    bringing religion to the government has always been contraband in America...that's one of the things that makes her's why as a nation we rise...the tali ban is an example where religion and government are allowed to live side by side

    churches became businesses'

    churches have always been businesses, since the beginning of the very concept of religion

    'Finally, when people, too stupid to realize that a steaming cup of
    coffee was hot

    this was the most misleading story I've ever seen that people actually believed, and the actual story was completely different then what McDonald's had you was warned that they served their coffee far beyond the temperature the health department told them was hot, it could cause 3rd degree other words, they were warned their coffee was as dangerous as serving acid

    they insisted on serving coffee that would cause third degree Burns, even though...(refills are free as a policy, they serve less, and people like the taste more)

    they were warned of the harm they would cause.

    this women didn't want anything from McDonald's but medical REFUSED to pay the hospital bill of this elderly women who needed SKIN GRAFTS IN HER GENITAL AREA!!! because they wanted to set a corporate precedence and continue to sell coffee hotter then any other restaurant sell

    'federal judges stuck their noses in everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports'

    because these organizations chose to break the laws of our land, as if they were some how imune.umm...isn't this why we hire federal judges ?

    there are those in every generation will look to the events of common interaction, and find a reason to if people have gotten worse

    they have not

    people have gotten better
  4. rotjong

    rotjong Moderator

    The far side of nowhere
    I just posted it for the general humour. Sometimes it's just nice to read things for the fun of it w/o over-analyzing :p

    This has happened and it was simply a peck on the cheek. It was not harrassment. The child didn't freak out. It was a overly dramatic parent.

    Actually, I once got in trouble, though not suspended, by the assistant principal when I was in high school. This was over a decade ago. Why did I get in trouble? Because I used mouthwash after eating lunch. I didn't drink any alcohol and I was a good student. In my case the guy was just being a moron and was simply convinced I had been drinking. So it goes.

    Frankly, I'm tired of the restrictions these days. Kids were horrible when I was young and they were even worse when I was in high school and worked at a latch-key program after school for the elementary kids. Watching 2nd graders called teachers b*tches and the like. Kids just have absolutely no sense of discipline anymore.

    I heard a story just yesterday. A young kid using a stick to hit other students. The teacher who witnessed this could do nothing for fear of laying a hand on the child even to grab them. What's wrong with this picture? The teacher had to go get the assitant principal who is also the phys ed teacher and the kid then swung the stick around at the assistant principal. Sorry, but in that case the kid needs a boot up their @ss and I doubt their parents ended up even caring. They likely laughed it off as a childhood "thing".

    It hasn't always been this way. Afterall, the Pledge Of Allegiance was altered to add "under God" which, I personally feel, is wrong. The author didn't write it that way and until he died he fought against it.

    No argument here. Religion is purer than getting into the topic of churches. Catholicism has been ruined by the Vatican and the churches, IMO. I have no issues with the religion... it's the physical establishment of it that bothers me. I'll go one step further... Churches are not just businesses... they are corrupt businesses in many cases.

    This case I took as more of a generalized example. There have been many such cases were people sued and in the end they were just total morons. I'm not going to say all people are wrong but in many cases... a little common sense would have prevented the accident.

    Isn't it sad when judges are necessary, though? Things should be controlled more so that things don't happen in the first place. I suppose I should write the obituary for responsibility.

    The biggest issue with the world, as I now see it, is the utter lack of willingness to accept any personal responsibility.

    A child misbehaves and a parent doesn't seem to care. They aren't raising their child to be disciplined. Schools are left to be parents and teach the kids everything yet a teacher cannot even touch a child for fear of being sued and/or losing their job.

    A parent dislikes a TV show their kid watches on the TV in their own home while the parent is there... It's the parent's responsibility as a parent to not allow it. It's not the place of the government to get the FCC to get the TV producers to alter things so that every single show ends up being a carbon copy of "The Cosby Show" or "Wonder Years".

    A movie has a scene where high school football players lay on the yellow line in the middle of the road. Real high school seniors who have already been accepted to college imitate this and some die. The parents sue and the scene is removed from future releases (video). These kids were utterly stupid and, frankly, I have trouble mustering up sympathy.

    It's time everyone held up their own weight and accepted it willingly.

  5. Son Goku

    Son Goku No lover of dogma

    Speaking of common sense, and some humerious anectdotes, a few one's I've heard:

    - Someone had a parking ticket and had to go down to metro court here in Albuq. So in going, they apperently stole a car, parked it in the handicap space in front of the police station, and then went to court to pay their parking ticket. When they came back to the car, the cops were waiting by it.

    officer: Sir, is this your car?
    person: Yes
    officer: Do you know it was reported stolen?
    person: Yes, I had to pay a parking ticket

    Someone who worked at travel agency told of someone who came in looking for a map of old Indian ruins. They came back the next day and complained that all the ruins were falling apart. They then asked if they had a map of new ruins :D

    One of my apartment mates (back when I lived in on-campus apartments) worked at Home Base. He was operating a fork lift and moving a rather large load of, I forgot whether it was sand, cement, dirt or whatever. It was about 8,000 lbs on the thing.

    So someone came running over, right under the fork lift, nearly causing an accident. The appt mate suggested he be more careful as this almost fell on him.

    The person was like "That's OK. If you would have dropped that on me, I would have sued you for everything your worth."

    appt mate: "Wrong. I've got 8,000 lbs of (whatever it was) on this thing. If this would have fallen on you, you'd be dead. Bloody splats on the floor can't sue anyone. You really should be more careful."

    I used to work at a grocery store. One time I did an ethnographic study on bad customers at my place of work (for cultural anthropology). In any case, among the people we ran into were the people who dropped their cigarette butts everywhere, and this one person for instance that was leaking gasoline from his car all over. When someone informed him, he was like "oh well, doesn't matter".

    So when I mentioned this at a local gas station, I commented if these peeps ever met each other. The attendant was like "eh, they do it here. They smoke while pumping their gas, and drop their cigarettes (without extinguishing them) right in front of the gas pumps.

    When I had someone look over the paper, as it was a major project (English teacher, who incidently used to work there herself), she told me how it brought back memories. One day, one of the things that happened to her

    Person unloaded their groceries into their mini-van. The lady then leaving the cart behind her mini van rams the thing in reverse, runs over her cart, and it gets stuck under her vehicle.

    So she (teacher in this case) walks over and gets the cart un-stuck from under the customer's mini-van, who then proceeds to back up and hit the worker. She gets outa her mini-van and asks the worker if she is OK. The worker was like "you just ran me over. Of course I'm OK. I'm always OK when people run me over..."
  6. Steevo

    Steevo Spammer representing. Political User Folding Team

    I tend to laugh at idiots.

    I have caused un-needed accidents.

    I have made people cry.

    These are when I'm in a good mood, but when I'm in a bad mood..........