New Element in Periodic Table

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by ZeroHour, Dec 21, 2004.

  1. ZeroHour

    ZeroHour ho3 ho3 ho3

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    NEW ELEMENT IN THE PERIODIC TABLE

    Element : WOMEN

    Symbol : Wo

    Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 Kg; isotopes may vary
    from 30-200 kg.

    Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas.

    PHYSICAL PROPERTIES

    1. Boils at room temperature

    2. Freezes without any known reason.

    3. Melts if given special treatment.

    4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.

    5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper treatment.


    CHEMICAL PROPERTIES

    1. Have great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range
    of precious stones and absorbs great quantities of
    expensive substances.

    2. May explode spontaneously without prior warning
    and for no known reason.

    3. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly
    increases by that.

    4. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.


    COMMON USES

    1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.

    2. Can be great aid to relaxation.


    TESTS

    1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.
    2. Turns green when placed behind a better specimen.


    POTENTIAL HAZARD

    illegal to possess more than one, although several
    can be maintained at different locations as long as
    specimens do not come in direct contact with
    each other.


    !! WARNING !!


    PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE
    FINANCIAL PROBLEMS AND MENTAL DISTRESS. BE CAUTIOUS
     
  2. Kush

    Kush High On Life!

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    haha very scientific
     
  3. the_music_man

    the_music_man aka prodj88 =P

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    this joke is chemistry related therefore i hate it!! just kidding, its funny
     
  4. Tittles

    Tittles Dabba Dooba Political User

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    lol...thats funny with a q
     
  5. chris

    chris Free to Fly

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    Nice one ;)
     
  6. ming

    ming OSNN Advanced

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    wonder how marge and jewelz feel about this. :)
    *steps aside*
     
  7. Elektro Slime

    Elektro Slime Harware Guru

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    wow i think this is the best one uv posted so for zero!