new alcohol lables

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by zoey, Jan 29, 2003.

  1. zoey

    zoey Guest

    Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor
    manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning
    labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
    hell happened to your bra.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
    whispering when you are not.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
    retard.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends
    over and over again that you love them.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
    ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the
    morning.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
    converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical
    Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
    morning and see something really scary.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
    tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are
    nvisible or worse bulletproof.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
    laughing WITH you.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the
    time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally
    disappear.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

    WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may Mack you tink you can tipe real
    gode.


    > > gee is this you?
     
  2. Burpster

    Burpster Guest

    lol ...damn guilty as charged :)
     
  3. zoey

    zoey Guest

    Glad i'm not the only one. LOL