Mommy Mommy Jokes

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by ZeroHour, Dec 8, 2004.

  1. ZeroHour

    ZeroHour ho3 ho3 ho3

    Son: Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts!
    Mom: Shut up and get away from the dart board!

    Son: Mommy, mommy, can I lick the bowl?
    Mom: Shut up and flush.

    Son:Mommy, Mommy! My egg tastes bad.
    Mom:stop complaining! Just eat it!
    Son:Mommy, Mommy!
    Mom:What is it now!
    Son:Do I have to eat the beak as well?

    Son:Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all your scabs?
    mom:Shut up and eat your cornflakes!

    Son: Mommy, Mommy! When will we have this nice yellow pudding again?
    Mom: Shut up, you know that grandma's leg is no longer infested.

    Son: Mommy, Mommy! Why is daddy running away?
    Mom: Shut up, and help me reload the shotgun!

    Son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I play in the sandbox?
    Mom: Not until I find a better place to bury Daddy.

    Son: Mommy, Mommy, I want to play with Grandpa now!
    Mom: Keep quiet, the coffin stays closed today!

    Son: Mommy, mommy, are you sure this is how to learn to swim?
    Mom: Shut up and get back in the sack!

    Son: Mommy, Mommy! Why do I have to hop everywhere?
    Mom: Shut up or I'll chop off the other leg!

    Son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't like running in circles!
    Mom: Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.

    Son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I go to the toilet?
    Mom: Yes Johnny I'll take you in a minute.
    Son: Can Granny take me?
    Mom: Why? son:Her hand shakes.

    Son: Mommy, Mommy! Grandpa's going out!
    Mom: Well throw some more gasoline on him then

    Son: Mommy, Mommy, can I wear a bra now? I'm 16..
    Mom: Shut up Albert....

    Son: Mommy, Mommy! I can't breathe!
    Mom: Good, it's working.

    This is a little non-pc, but hey

    Son: Mommy, Mommy! can I have a bike for Christmas?
    Mom: Nope. You already have your wheelchair.