Men are like............

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by Evil Marge, Mar 8, 2006.

  1. Evil Marge

    Evil Marge I Rule Political User

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    1. Men are like .....Laxatives ..... They irritate the **** out of you.
    2. Men are like .Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.
    3. Men are like ......Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them.
    4. Men are like .....Blenders .... You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
    5. Men are like .....Chocolate Bars .. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
    6. Men are like ..Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.
    7. Men are like ..Department Stores .... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
    8. Men are like .Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
    9. Men are like ..Mascara ..... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
    10. Men are like ......Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
    11. Men are like .... Snowstorms .. You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
    12. Men are like .....Lava Lamps .. Fun to look at, but not very bright.
    13. Men are like Parking Spots ....... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.


    :laugh:
     
  2. Grandmaster

    Grandmaster Electronica Addict Political User Folding Team

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    In response I present, "Women are like":

    ...the stock market
    They're irrational and can bankrupt you if you're not careful.

    ...computers
    They take too long to warm up and a better model always comes along once you've already got one.

    ...Saran Wrap
    Useful but clingy.

    ...horses
    Fun to pet and ride but a pain to feed and clean up after.

    ...parking meters
    If you don't feed them with enough money you face serious consequences.

    ...fax machines
    Useful for one very specific purpose but otherwise just high-maintenance paperweights.

    ...political campaign contributors
    If you let them talk about themselves long enough you wind up in bed with them.

    ...refrigerators
    They're always cold and never seem to have a beer when you need one.

    ...blue jeans
    They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced.

    ...country western songs
    They're annoying, they all sound alike, but if you really listen to them you'll get depressed and drink a lot.
     
  3. Evil Marge

    Evil Marge I Rule Political User

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    haha :laugh:
     
  4. LordOfLA

    LordOfLA Godlike!

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    both very funny :D
     
  5. kcnychief

    kcnychief █▄█ ▀█▄ █ Political User Folding Team

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    nice comeback Omar :p
     
  6. gonaads

    gonaads Beware the G-Man Political User Folding Team

    Oooh both of them are good. To bad it's all true. :p
     
  7. Vanquished

    Vanquished Mr. Bananagrabber Political User

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    Hehe, Nice comeback, nince first jab too though...
    Kudos!
    -Jack
     
  8. Heeter

    Heeter Overclocked Like A Mother

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    Women are like.....floor tiles....Lay them right the first time and they spend the rest of their lives walking all over you.


    Heeter
     
  9. rushm001

    rushm001 In the beginning...... Political User

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    Funny that, I was emailed the same thing sometime yesterday! :p
     
  10. Geffy

    Geffy Moderator Folding Team

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    you trying to say I am handicapped amanda :p

    v amusing though
     
  11. Khayman

    Khayman I'm sorry Hal... Political User Folding Team

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    Fun-e
     
  12. Vanquished

    Vanquished Mr. Bananagrabber Political User

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    I see...
     
  13. KingKian

    KingKian OSNN Addict

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    Women are like.... a car .... depreciate over the years, often has to send for service and costly to refill fuels as they get empty fast.
     
  14. Vanquished

    Vanquished Mr. Bananagrabber Political User

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    Wow...
    I think that was a bit harsh... :)
    The depriciating part
    lol
    -Jack
     
  15. Evil Marge

    Evil Marge I Rule Political User

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    Lay them right the first time and they spend the rest of their lives all over you :cheeky:
    I was emailed it 5 minutes after I posted :laugh:
    Nah not you,a few others I could mention but definitely not you sweety ;)
     
  16. tom9042

    tom9042 OSNN Senior Addict Folding Team

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    My sister always said that men are good for two things;

    she can't remember what the second thing is!
     
  17. Vanquished

    Vanquished Mr. Bananagrabber Political User

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    Lol?
    I know thats funny but im just too stupid to see it...
    I'll get it, don't worry
     
  18. Steevo

    Steevo Spammer representing. Political User Folding Team

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    Well, I'm proud to report I'm a good lay, AND I can cook and clean. :D
     
  19. joyojoy

    joyojoy Not all there...

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    Men are like...
    ...placemats: they only show up when there's food on the table.

    ...copiers: you need them in reproduction but that's about it.

    ...high heels: they're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

    ...coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

    ...coffee. The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

    ...handguns: keep one around long enough and your gonna want to shoot it.

    What should you give a man who has everything?
    A woman to show him how to work it.

    How does a man show he's planning for the future?
    He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

    What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
    After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

    How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
    We don't know, it's never happened.

    Why is it hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
    Because those men already have boyfriends
     
  20. Vanquished

    Vanquished Mr. Bananagrabber Political User

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    Ha!
    That was a good set of jokes joy
    lol
    -Jack