Married Life

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by bush dogg, Mar 24, 2006.

  1. bush dogg

    bush dogg OSNN Senior Addict Political User

    A couple had only been married for two weeks when the husband, although
    Very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

    "Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.
    "I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer."

    The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

    The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could
    Think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop, but at the bar, you know... they have frozen glasses."

    He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

    The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious. I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

    "You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.

    "But my sweet honey, at the bar.... you know... there's swearing, dirty words, and all that."

    "You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? Listen up s--t-for-brains! Sit your stupid ass down, shut the f--- up, drink your beer in your frozen mug, and eat your f---ing hors d'oeuvres, because your married ass isn't going to a damn bar you stupid s--t! That crap is over. Got it, Numb nuts?"........
    LeeJend likes this.
  2. Tittles

    Tittles Dabba Dooba Political User

    Muskegon, Michigan
  3. kcnychief

    kcnychief █▄█ ▀█▄ █ Political User Folding Team

    rofl :D

  4. mlakrid

    mlakrid OSNN BASSMASTER Political User Folding Team

    oldie but a goodie...
  5. LeeJend

    LeeJend Moderator

    Fort Worth, TX
    My God! Somebody has my house bugged.
  6. Admiral Michael

    Admiral Michael Michaelsoft Systems CEO Folding Team

    LMFAO! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: