Some kids these days are so dumb
Questions and answers selected from tests in Springdale, Arkansas in 2000 to 16 year old students! (Don't laugh too hard - one of these may be the president someday.)
Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes
large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes
them perspire.
Q: What is a planet? A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight
between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the
moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a
vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections? A: Very
important. Sex can only happen when a male gets a election.
Q: What are steroids? A: Things for keeping carpets still on the
stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you get old, so do
your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A: He says good-bye
to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A: Premature death.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (E.g., abdomen.) A:
The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and
the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax
contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the
five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.
Q: What is the Fibula? A: A small lie
Q: What does "varicose" mean? A: Nearby.
Q: What is the most common form of birth control? A: Most people
prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section." A: The caesarean
section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure? A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness? A: When you are sick at the airport
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? A:
Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like
umbrellas.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean? A: Benign is what you will be
after you be eight.
Q: What is a turbine? A: Something an Arab wears on his head.
Q: What is a Hindu? A: It lays eggs.
Some more great jokes can be found at http://thefunnyplace.be/jokes.html
Questions and answers selected from tests in Springdale, Arkansas in 2000 to 16 year old students! (Don't laugh too hard - one of these may be the president someday.)
Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes
large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes
them perspire.
Q: What is a planet? A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight
between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the
moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a
vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections? A: Very
important. Sex can only happen when a male gets a election.
Q: What are steroids? A: Things for keeping carpets still on the
stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you get old, so do
your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A: He says good-bye
to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A: Premature death.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (E.g., abdomen.) A:
The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and
the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax
contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the
five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.
Q: What is the Fibula? A: A small lie
Q: What does "varicose" mean? A: Nearby.
Q: What is the most common form of birth control? A: Most people
prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section." A: The caesarean
section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure? A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness? A: When you are sick at the airport
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? A:
Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like
umbrellas.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean? A: Benign is what you will be
after you be eight.
Q: What is a turbine? A: Something an Arab wears on his head.
Q: What is a Hindu? A: It lays eggs.
Some more great jokes can be found at http://thefunnyplace.be/jokes.html
Politicians and sex scandals... To keep this on a humerious note, and out of the hard talk section, the opening scene of Distinguished Gentleman, with Eddie Murphey. Senator Jeff Johnson, in the office late at night with his Congressional staffer. He died from having sex too hard :laugh:
