Insurance jokes

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by trellawny, Apr 7, 2003.

  1. trellawny

    trellawny Guest

    The following are actual statements placed on insurance forms where the car's driver attempted to summarise the details of their accident in the fewest words possible.

    • Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.


    • The other car collided with mine without giving any warning of its intentions.


    • I thought the window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.


    • A truck backed through my windshield and into my wife's face.


    • A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.


    • The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.


    • I pulled away from the side of the road, glaced at my mother-in-law, and headed over an embankment.


    • In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone poll.


    • I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.


    • I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.


    • The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.


    • I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.


    • As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.


    • To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.


    • My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.


    • I told the police that I was not injured, but upon removing my hat, found that I had a fractured skull.


    • I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.


    • The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.


    • I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.


    • The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front of my car.
     
  2. chris

    chris Free to Fly

    Messages:
    1,109
    haha those are golden :)
     
  3. slimboyfat

    slimboyfat Guest

    Good.............. I just love this kind of stuff
     
  4. UberBert

    UberBert Guest

    lol, these are goodies :D



    -Bert