Human Maths... funkeh stuff :)

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by MdSalih, May 11, 2002.

  1. MdSalih

    MdSalih The Boss

    Messages:
    1,730
    Location:
    Birmingham, UK
    ROMANCE ARITHMETIC
    Smart man + smart woman = romance
    Smart man + dumb woman = affair
    Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
    Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

    OFFICE ARITHMETIC
    Smart boss + smart employee = profit
    Smart boss + dumb employee = production
    Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
    Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

    SHOPPING MATH
    A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
    A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

    GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

    HAPPINESS
    To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
    To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and try not to understand her at all.

    LONGEVITY
    Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

    MEMORY
    Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

    APPEARANCE
    Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
    Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

    PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

    DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
    A woman has the last word in any argument.
    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

    COMPREHENSION
    There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman –before marriage and after marriage.

    HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings,
    poking me in the ribs and cackling telling me, "You're next."
    They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

    :D

    MdSalih
     
  2. Tbird94sc

    Tbird94sc Guest

    sob sob......its true......its all true.......:( :( :( :(
     
  3. Jewelzz

    Jewelzz OSNN Godlike Veteran

    Messages:
    10,977
    Location:
    California
    BS BS BS ;)
     
  4. Dunom

    Dunom Guest