Hey Abbott!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by Hipster Doofus, Oct 13, 2004.

  1. Hipster Doofus

    Hipster Doofus Good grief Charlie Brown

    Messages:
    5,920
    Location:
    Melbourne Australia
    If Abbott and Costello were still around today their famous sketch "Who's on first?" might have turned out something like this....

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
    COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about
    buying a computer.
    ABBOTT: Mac?
    COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
    ABBOTT: Your computer?
    COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
    ABBOTT: Mac?
    COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
    ABBOTT: What about Windows?
    COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
    ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
    COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
    ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
    COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
    ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
    COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
    ABBOTT: Office.
    COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
    ABBOTT: I just did.
    COSTELLO: You just did what?
    ABBOTT: Recommend something.
    COSTELLO: You recommended something?
    ABBOTT: Yes.
    COSTELLO: For my office?
    ABBOTT: Yes.
    COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
    ABBOTT: Office.
    COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
    ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
    COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
    ABBOTT: Word.
    COSTELLO: What word?
    ABBOTT: Word in Office.
    COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
    COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
    ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
    COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
    ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
    COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your
    business. Just tell me what I need!
    ABBOTT: Real One.
    COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch
    them?
    ABBOTT: Of course.
    COSTELLO: Great! With what?
    ABBOTT: Real One.
    COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
    ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".
    COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
    ABBOTT: The blue "1".
    COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
    ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
    COSTELLO: What word?
    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
    COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!
    ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
    COSTELLO: It is?
    ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty
    much wiped out all the other Words out there.
    COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
    ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of
    Office.
    COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
    ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer
    COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
    ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
    COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
    ABBOTT: One copy.
    COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
    ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
    COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
    ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
    A FEW DAYS LATER . ..
    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
    COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
    ABBOTT: Click on "START"..........

    :D :D
     
    Henyman likes this.
  2. Henyman

    Henyman Secret Goat Fetish Political User

  3. Admiral Michael

    Admiral Michael Michaelsoft Systems CEO Folding Team

  4. Hsn

    Hsn King

    Messages:
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    good one :D
     
  5. champ2005

    champ2005 | xs |

    Messages:
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    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    roflmao!

    just wondering what it has to do with australian politics - you could use any two people i reckon.
     
  6. Xie

    Xie - geek - Subscribed User Folding Team

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    lol thats good stuff. :p
     
  7. Hipster Doofus

    Hipster Doofus Good grief Charlie Brown

    Messages:
    5,920
    Location:
    Melbourne Australia
    I hope you are not mixing up Abbott & Costello with Abbott & Costello. :D

    Think back to the 1940's - 50's. Good ol Hollywood. Not the Australian Liberal Party.

    Although with our Abbott & Costello they would probably spend a billion or two to get it right. :D