Great Truths

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by belveder, Nov 26, 2003.

  1. belveder

    belveder OSNN Senior Addict

    Messages:
    267
    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    GREAT TRUTHS

    GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

    1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
    2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
    3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
    4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
    5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
    6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
    7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
    8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
    9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
    10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

    GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

    1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
    2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
    3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
    4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
    5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
    6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.


    GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

    1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
    2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
    3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down
    there.
    4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
    5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
    6) Time may be a great healer, ! but it's a lousy beautician.
    7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone
     
  2. Perris Calderon

    Perris Calderon Moderator Staff Member Political User

    Messages:
    12,332
    Location:
    new york
    very nice...had me smiling all the way.

    original?
     
  3. Erbmaster

    Erbmaster Moderator Folding Team

    Messages:
    1,195
    Location:
    Middle Of Nowhere - UK
    Very Good!. :D
     
  4. coathanger007

    coathanger007 Tomorrow Tweaking Today

    Messages:
    1,520
    Location:
    Australia
    I must be losing my sense of humour. I can see what these are getting at but it didn't even crack a smile. Must be a joke for the older generation :D