Great pets.

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by Kirrie2001, May 1, 2002.

  1. Kirrie2001

    Kirrie2001 Guest

    The Parrot.

    A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.
    It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud; "Jeesh. I wonder what happened to this Parrot?"
    The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."
    "Holy cow," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"
    "I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."
    "Oh yeah?", the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang on to your
    perch without any feet?"
    "Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked,
    I wrap my willie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it
    because of my feathers."
    "Wow" says the guy, "you really can understand and speak English, can't you?"
    "Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, Philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion." The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."
    "Pssssssst" says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me because
    I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!"
    The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
    Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.
    One day the guy comes home from work and the Parrot goe "Psssssssssssst" and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
    "What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
    "When the postman delivered today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nighty and kissed him passionately."
    "WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
    "Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over" reported the parrot.
    "My God!" he exclaims.
    "Then what?"
    "Then he lifted up the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over,
    starting with her breasts and slowly going down....
    "WELL???" demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
    "F****d if I know. I got a erection and fell off my bloody perch."
  2. Jewelzz

    Jewelzz OSNN Godlike Veteran

    You have the best jokes Kirrie :D
  3. xsivforce

    xsivforce Prodigal Son Folding Team

    Texas, USA
  4. NetRyder

    NetRyder Tech Junkie Folding Team

    New York City
    Bravo bravo!! :D
  5. Tbird94sc

    Tbird94sc Guest

    really truly LMAO that was great