I just heard a Christmas poem on the radio, and he was smoking a pipe, I swear it.; And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof The prancing and pawing of each little hoof. As I drew in my hand, and was turning around, Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound. He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot; A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack. His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow; The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth I seem to remember images of this, but only vaguely, and he never had a pipe whenever I saw him in person ever (though I did see him making out with some of my friends moms...what's up with that?...he didn't have a pipe, that's for sure) and nobody's house that I know he's visited ever smelled like pipe smoke after christmas has anyone ever seen him in person with a pipe? I'm not buying it, I need more proof and if he DOES smoke a pipe, what's in it?