Do we really need telling?

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by Erbmaster, Apr 28, 2003.

  1. Erbmaster

    Erbmaster Moderator Folding Team

    Messages:
    1,195
    Location:
    Middle Of Nowhere - UK
    Actual Label Instructions On Consumer Products:
    ===============================================

    1. On a blanket from Taiwan -
    NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

    2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists -
    REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY
    BEHIND YOU.

    3. On a Taiwanese shampoo -
    USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

    4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink
    AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

    5. On a New Zealand insect spray -
    THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

    6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer -
    TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO
    WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
    (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)

    7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful
    haemorrhoids
    LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO
    THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL
    DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5
    MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.

    8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles
    OPEN OTHER END.

    9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins -
    WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST
    CEREAL?

    10. On a Sears hairdryer -
    DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

    11. On a bag of Fritos -
    YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY.
    DETAILS INSIDE.

    12. On a bar of Dial soap -
    DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.

    13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom
    of the box)-
    DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.

    14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -
    PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.

    15. On a Korean kitchen knife -
    WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.

    16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights -
    FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.

    17. On a Japanese food processor -
    NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.

    18. On Sainsbury's peanuts -
    WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.

    19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts
    INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.

    20. On a Swedish chainsaw -
    DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR
    HANDS.

    21. On a child's superman costume -
    WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.

    22. On some frozen dinners
    SERVING SUGGESTION DEFROST.

    23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box
    FITS ONE HEAD.

    24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron
    DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

    25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine
    DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.

    26. On Nytol sleep aid
    WARNING MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.
     
  2. sboulema

    sboulema Moderator

    Messages:
    2,846
    Location:
    Amstelveen, The Netherlands
  3. pothitos

    pothitos Guest

    ROTFLMAO!!!!!:D :D and sboulema.. ur right Raikonnen will win
     
  4. Henyman

    Henyman Secret Goat Fetish Political User

    sh!t i been putting them the wrong way up:huh:
     
  5. Perris Calderon

    Perris Calderon Moderator Staff Member Political User

    Messages:
    12,332
    Location:
    new york
    7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful
    haemorrhoids
    LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO
    THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL
    DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5
    MINUTES, fo

    KEEP QUIET.

    sounds like he has first hand in
     
  6. Zedric

    Zedric NTFS Guru Folding Team

    Messages:
    4,006
    Location:
    Sweden
    Sounds more like a serving tip than a warning... :confused:

    Now that WOULD be a good idea! :D I just love translation errors.

    Sounds kinky. I can't think of what that could be. *whistle* :eek:

    One size fits all? Hard to picture two people trying to get into the same cap at the same time... :D

    I also like the microwave oven warning text: DO NOT USE FOR DRYING PETS!

    (well unless they're dead I suppose... :D)
     
  7. dubstar

    dubstar format c:

    Messages:
    1,357
    Location:
    Southern California
    well if i had a product on the market, i'd Idiot proof it too.. maybe you all dont remember, but in 1990's some guy Sued McDonalds because he spilled coffee on him, and the cup didnt have any cautions about heat... yes, it was a stupid reason, but he got millions for it.
     
  8. Perris Calderon

    Perris Calderon Moderator Staff Member Political User

    Messages:
    12,332
    Location:
    new york
    umm no

    that's not the way it happened, though with the way the press protechs big business nowadays, I'm not surprised this is the public impression of this case

    McDonald's was warned numerous times by the health dept. that their coffee was way over the standard, too hot, (hot enough to cause third degree burns), dangerous, irresponsible, and would lead to problems

    the person that was involved absolutely did not want this to lead to a law suit.

    it was McDonald's that insisted on the law suit, so that they could continue to serve coffee twenty degrees hotter then the health dept. said was safe...

    they refused to handle the hospital bills, (third dgress burns, this coffee was so hot), and just wanted to prove their poin

    because they made more money doing it that way.

    this award was a punitive damage, and it was reduced to something closer to 100,000, but I forget the actual figure
     
  9. Nick M

    Nick M Moderator

    Messages:
    3,961
    Heh! The * OTHER * use. OH NO! Not the * OTHER * Use! :p
     
  10. Mubbers

    Mubbers Shoot! Political User

    Messages:
    1,087
    I'm interested tho' how do/did they make more money by serving the coffee hotter?

    Hotter coffee = more energy used. On the scale that MacDonalds makes coffee that could be unecessary gigawatts of power yearly?

    You'ld recon a chickensh1t outfit like MickyD's would be more likely to sell cold coffee!

    Mubbers
     
  11. Perris Calderon

    Perris Calderon Moderator Staff Member Political User

    Messages:
    12,332
    Location:
    new york
    according to the research, people think the coffee tastes better.

    in addition, most mcdonalds give free refills in the morning

    fewer cups finnished before the customer leaves.

    fewer pots brewed, less free coffee given out, less energy, not more energy used

    all with the bonus of people thinking the coffee taste better
     
  12. Mubbers

    Mubbers Shoot! Political User

    Messages:
    1,087
    yes!

    That actually makes sense - it's the opposite of beer!

    Cold beer tatses better than the same beer warm. However you drink much more cold beer...

    <hic!>

    Mubbers
     
  13. Henyman

    Henyman Secret Goat Fetish Political User

    /me goes 2 research that:p
     
  14. Erbmaster

    Erbmaster Moderator Folding Team

    Messages:
    1,195
    Location:
    Middle Of Nowhere - UK
    Good job Maccy "D"'s don't seel their ice-cream too cold. They'd be getting sued by millions of people with "Ice-Cream Headaches" - That pain behind ur eyes & nose when you bolt too much cold ice-cream. Bleeeuuuurrgh. Makes me shudder just thinking about it. :eek:

    Research this one if ya dare Henyman :happy: :p :D
     
  15. Henyman

    Henyman Secret Goat Fetish Political User

    hrmmmm it does hurt:huh:
     
  16. Mubbers

    Mubbers Shoot! Political User

    Messages:
    1,087
    It is bad!

    Also soda drinks not too fizzy - can't have it coming out of your nose now can we???


    Bleh!

    Mubbers
     
  17. Erbmaster

    Erbmaster Moderator Folding Team

    Messages:
    1,195
    Location:
    Middle Of Nowhere - UK
    lol that's so true. It's that same feeling you get when you get salt water/the sea up yer nose. :eek:

    /Notices ur on a Rig. If it's deep sea, you probably know EXACTLY what i'm talkin' about :D ;)