Different attributes of men and women

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by gonaads, Dec 19, 2005.

  1. gonaads

    gonaads Beware the G-Man Political User Folding Team

    Different attributes of men and women

    Success:
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

    Style:
    Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
    Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

    Money management:
    A man is a person who will pay one dollar for a one dollar item he wants.
    A woman will pay two dollars for a one dollar item that she doesn't want.

    Happiness:
    To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
    To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

    Marriage expectations:
    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

    Marriage decisions:
    Men marry because they are tired.
    Women marry because they are curious.
    Both are disappointed.

    Marriage and the future:
    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

    Memories:
    A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her.
    A man cherishes the memory of the woman who he didn't marry.

    Understanding women:
    There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage.

    What a woman wants:
    Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy ...
    One is to let her think she is having her own way.
    The other is to let her have it.

    Longevity:
    Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

    Mistakes:
    Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use two people remembering the same thing.

    The battle:
    A woman always has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

    :D
     
    bush dogg and Sazar like this.
  2. Henyman

    Henyman Secret Goat Fetish Political User

    lmfao there good :D
     
  3. bush dogg

    bush dogg OSNN Senior Addict Political User

    Messages:
    433
    Location:
    Kansas
    First thing that come to my mind after reading that was this picture. :laugh:
     

    Attached Files:

    gonaads likes this.
  4. tom9042

    tom9042 OSNN Senior Addict Folding Team

    Messages:
    314
    Location:
    New Jersey
    gonaads,

    Why is this in the jokes & humor area?

    Oh yeah, we don't have an section for essential truths.
     
  5. Son Goku

    Son Goku No lover of dogma

    :laugh:

    Not to trample on the thread, but another...buying shoes :D

    I had a classmate this past semester in my Linux apps install class; who said he used to sell shoes. He also said that every single stereo type in Married with Children wrt selling shoes is true. He ran into everyone of them while on the job :eek:

    - Man comes in, looks at a pair of shoes, and if he likes, he buys 2 pairs.

    - Woman comes into store, sees a pair of shoes, but immediately starts asking about the size. If it isn't a size 6 double A, she doesn't want it. The size of her foot doesn't matter...

    So this one day, when he still had that job, this woman came in, saw a shoe on display and tried it on. It couldn't have been a more perfect fit. Only problem was the shoe was a size 7, so she didn't want, insisting that he squeeze her foot in a size 6.

    This person, who didn't want to sell shoes anymore finally asked her "Well, would you like me to cross out the 7, and write a 6 right next to it?" lmao
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2005
  6. gonaads

    gonaads Beware the G-Man Political User Folding Team


    HAH!!! :p

    That deserves reps++++