Dictionary For Decoding Women's Personal Ads

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by Skipholiday, Mar 25, 2006.

  1. Skipholiday

    Skipholiday Captain Capslock

    Messages:
    4
    40-ish...........................49.
    Adventurous......................Slept with everyone.
    Athletic.........................No breasts.
    Average looking..................Moooo.
    Beautiful........................Pathological liar.
    Emotionally Secure...............On medication.
    Feminist.........................Fat.
    Free spirit......................Junkie.
    Friendship first.................Former ****.
    New-Age..........................Body hair in the wrong places.
    Old-fashioned....................No BJs.
    Open-minded......................Desperate.
    Outgoing.........................Loud and Embarrassing.
    Professional.....................Bitch.
    Voluptuous.......................Very Fat.
    Large frame......................Hugely Fat.
    Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.



    WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

    1. Yes = No
    2. No = Yes
    3. Maybe = No
    4. We need = I want
    5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
    6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
    7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
    8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
    9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
    10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think
    about?

    MEN'S ENGLISH:

    1. I am hungry = I am hungry
    2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
    3. I am tired = I am tired
    4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
    5. I love you = Let's have sex now
    6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
    7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

    [edit]
    Color removed (it was annoying)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 10, 2006
  2. bobsalot

    bobsalot Boooooooooooooooooooom

    Messages:
    1,584
    Location:
    Broadstairs, UK
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    lolz
     
  3. technokid88

    technokid88 Part of a System Folding Team

    Messages:
    741
    Location:
    In a world without windows
    pretty funny stuff
     
  4. kcnychief

    kcnychief █▄█ ▀█▄ █ Political User Folding Team

    Messages:
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    Massachusetts
  5. cupcake20

    cupcake20 OSNN Junior Addict

    Messages:
    13
    hahhahahaahahaa....thats quite hilarious!
     
  6. Beck

    Beck OSNN One Post Wonder

    Messages:
    9
    Classic
     
  7. bobsalot

    bobsalot Boooooooooooooooooooom

    Messages:
    1,584
    Location:
    Broadstairs, UK
    tis funny how this thread keeps on popping up.