NOISY NEIGHBORS A bright young Scottish lad named Shamus had the opportunity to go to university in London. So he packed his bags and said good-bye to his mother and left the highlands for the big city. After the first week his mother called to see how her boy was holding up. "I love it here Mother," Shamus told her, "but these English students are the oddest people ever! Why the boy who lives in the dormitory room next to me bangs his head against the wall until midnight every night. And the boy in the room above me stomps around until midnight every night. And the boy right below me blasts his stereo until midnight every night." "Why don't you complain to the Dean of students?" asks his mother. "Well, it doesn't bother me much," answers Shamus. "I'm usually up until that time quietly practicing my bagpipes anyway." BIRDS ON THE ROOF A priest, a minister, and a rabbi were sitting around discussing the pigeon problem. Each house of worship was being over run with pigeons on the roofs. The minister said "I tried to shoot them off, but they'd just circle around and come back. The only damage it did was to put holes in my roof." The rabbi said, "I tried to smoke the pigeons off my roof, but all that happened was the roof caught fire." The priest then told the others that he managed to get rid of the birds. The others were amazed and asked what his secret was. "Well," he said, "I just baptized them, confirmed them, and I haven't seen them since." btw does any 1 get that last 1?