Thanks thanks, to all of the above. It doesn't quite have the complexity that many other desktops do, but I tend to like to eliminate things that I either don't use or despise... like icons. Bwa ha ha.
(insert applause for MM's years-old tutorial)
I ended up searching for and finding the calendar.js file on the Wayback Machine. I knew it had to be somewhere.
Also, does anyone have any clue why my Program Launch link for puzzle pirates is determined to remain non-functional? I'm a webmaster and really don't know that much about how VBS and these codes function.