Another Tech Support Phone Call

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by Heeter, Jan 31, 2006.

  1. Heeter

    Heeter Overclocked Like A Mother

    Messages:
    2,732
    "Hello. Tech Support; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

    "What sort of trouble?" "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

    "Went away?" "They disappeared."

    "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing."

    "Nothing?" "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

    "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?"

    [Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.] "Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?"

    [Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.] "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

    [Ah--at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware problem. I wonder if s/he's kicked out his/her monitor's power plug?]

    "Does your monitor have a power indicator?" "What's a monitor?"

    "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?" "I don't know."

    "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?" [sound of rustling and jostling] [muffled] "Yes, I think so."

    "Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall." [pause] "Yes, it is."

    [Hmm. Well, that's interesting. I doubt s/he would have accidentally turned it off, and I don't want to send him/her hunting for the power switch because I don't know what kind of monitor s/he has and it's bound to have more than one switch on it. Maybe the video cable is loose or something.] "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

    "No."

    "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." [muffled] "Okay, here it is."

    "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." [still muffled] "I can't reach."

    "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?" [clear again] "No."

    "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?" "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle--it's because it's dark."

    "Dark?" "Yes--the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

    "Well, turn on the office light then." "I can't."

    "No? Why not?" "Because there's a power outage."

    "A power--!?!" ...[AAAAAAARGH!]"A power outage?



    Heeter
     
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  2. omg its nlm

    omg its nlm lvl 17 Hax Folding Team

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    lol funny :)
     
  3. ejn74

    ejn74 Folding Master! Political User Folding Team

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    old one but a good one! :laugh:
     
  4. Perris Calderon

    Perris Calderon Moderator Staff Member Political User

    Messages:
    12,332
    Location:
    new york
    got this in the mail yesterday

    Memoirs of a Tech Support Employee.
    Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
    Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
    Customer: Yeah..
    Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
    Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen....
    Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

    ===============

    Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
    Female customer: A white one...

    ===============

    Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
    Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
    Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
    Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
    Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

    ===============

    Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.
    Customer: Your left or my left?

    ===============

    Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
    Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
    Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
    Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, damn it!

    ===============

    Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

    ===============

    Customer : I have problems printing in red...
    Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
    Customer: Aaaah.................thank you.


    ===============

    Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
    Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

    ===============

    Customer : My keyboard is not working anymore.
    Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
    Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
    Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
    Customer: OK
    Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
    Customer: Yes
    Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
    Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work

    ===============

    Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
    Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

    ===============

    Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
    Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
    Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
    Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
    Customer: Five stars.

    ===============

    Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
    Customer: Netscape.
    Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
    Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

    ===============

    Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

    ===============

    Tech support: How may I help you?
    Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
    Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
    Customer : Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

    ===============

    A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
    Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
    Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

    ===============

    And last but not least:....

    Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
    Customer: I don't have a P.
    Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
    Customer: What do you mean?
    Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
    Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!






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    Last edited: Jan 31, 2006
    Admiral Michael likes this.
  5. madmatt

    madmatt Bow Down to the King Political User

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    Oh my. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

    Those were great. Thank you for sharing.
     
  6. ejn74

    ejn74 Folding Master! Political User Folding Team

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    It's wild to think that that really happens. sad but true. Very Funny
     
  7. gonaads

    gonaads Beware the G-Man Political User Folding Team


    Hahhahahaha! Great! :p
     
  8. gonaads

    gonaads Beware the G-Man Political User Folding Team


    Great shiit perris. :p
     
  9. Admiral Michael

    Admiral Michael Michaelsoft Systems CEO Folding Team

    Very!
     
    Grandmaster likes this.