A Plan to Save Our Bankrupt Airlines

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by Skipholiday, Mar 14, 2006.

  1. Skipholiday

    Skipholiday Captain Capslock

    Messages:
    4
    TO: Federal Aviation Administration
    Our airline industry is in real trouble, and it's time to start fixing this before it's too late. To that end, here are some modest suggestions:
    Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.
    Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers!
    What the hell -- the attendants have gotten old and haggard-looking.
    They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?
    The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a "party atmosphere" going in the cabin. And, of course, every heterosexual businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women. Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money.
    Hell, I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and "special services."
    Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women.
    Hijackings would come to a screeching halt and the airline industry would see record revenues.
    This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.
    Why the hell didn't Bush think of this?
    Why do I still have to do everything myself?
    Sincerely,
    Bill Clinton
     
    omg its nlm likes this.
  2. omg its nlm

    omg its nlm lvl 17 Hax Folding Team

    Messages:
    1,829
    Location:
    Minnesota
    LOL Great one!

    rep
     
  3. BouncingSoul

    BouncingSoul Stranger Than Fiction Political User

    Messages:
    1,299
    Location:
    Sioux Falls, SD
    Agreed.

    More reps
     
  4. Henyman

    Henyman Secret Goat Fetish Political User

    lmfao thats quite good :D
     
  5. Vanquished

    Vanquished Mr. Bananagrabber Political User

    Messages:
    4,868
    Location:
    Massachusetts
    The muslim part wasn't funny but the rest of it was :)
    So true though, I wouldnt know, i fly first class ;)
     
  6. Steevo

    Steevo Spammer representing. Political User Folding Team

    Messages:
    2,566
    I fly cheap, and that IS funny. If someone doesn't like it they may go to gehenna.
     
  7. Vanquished

    Vanquished Mr. Bananagrabber Political User

    Messages:
    4,868
    Location:
    Massachusetts
    gehenna?
    Whats gehenna?