34 ways to annoy people

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by ZeroHour, Feb 4, 2005.

  1. ZeroHour

    ZeroHour ho3 ho3 ho3

    Messages:
    1,118
    Location:
    Scotland
    1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17
    inch paper, 99 copies.
    2. Sit in your yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see
    if they slow down.
    3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
    4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it with your pen while talking
    to others.
    5 . Sing along at the opera.
    6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all
    weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
    7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU
    think."
    8 . Practice making fax and modem noises.
    9. Highlight irrelevant material in scientific papers and "cc"
    them to your boss
    10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
    11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with
    prophesy."
    12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands
    over your ears.
    13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the cartridge
    across the room.
    14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
    15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are
    green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
    16. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
    17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a
    croaking noise.
    18. Honk and wave to strangers.
    19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their
    complimentary mints by the cash register.
    20. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE LETTERS.
    21. type only in lower case letters.
    22. don t use any punctuation either
    23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute
    whole streets.
    24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you
    hear that?", "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
    25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
    26. Try playing the William Tell Overture (The Lone
    Ranger theme) by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When
    nearly done, announce, "No, wait, I messed it up," and
    repeat.
    27. Ask people what gender they are.
    28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like
    a parakeet.
    29. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual
    massage."
    30. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
    31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
    32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble
    the answers in a notebook. Mutter something about
    "psychological profiles."
    33. Tell your friends 4 days prior, that you can't attend their
    party because you're not in the mood.
    34. Send this list to everyone in your e-mail address book even
    if they sent it to you or asked you not to send things like
    this.
     
  2. omg man it took me 10minutes to read that i couldn't stop laughing
     
  3. Ferral_Imp

    Ferral_Imp Moderator

    Messages:
    685
    Location:
    PA
    :laugh: I do several of these on the list already. lol
     
  4. Mastershakes

    Mastershakes Moderator

    Messages:
    1,721
    Location:
    Montreal
    Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

    All the time. They get sooooo peeved. hehehe
     
  5. Steevo

    Steevo Spammer representing. Political User Folding Team

    Messages:
    2,566
    I like to break all the tabs on the pens, or bend them so they don't hold on to a persons shirt.
     
  6. ming

    ming OSNN Advanced

    Messages:
    4,252
    Location:
    UK
    35. ignore the rules of this forum. :p
     
  7. Kush

    Kush High On Life!

    Messages:
    4,590
    Location:
    Montreal, Quebec
    i always do the random number one