12 Valid Excuses for Avoiding Coming in to Work

Discussion in 'Funny Farm' started by belveder, Apr 9, 2003.

  1. belveder

    belveder OSNN Senior Addict

    Messages:
    267
    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    12 Valid Excuses for Avoiding Coming in to Work

    1. I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?

    2. When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.

    3. My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.

    4. I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.

    5. If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.

    6. I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet....

    7. I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at Tom Thumb.

    8. Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.

    9. Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.

    10. I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.

    11. The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.

    12. The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.
     
  2. UberBert

    UberBert Guest

    lol those are great :D i like the first one! :D



    -Bert