• This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn more.

You Cow!

Electronic Punk

willalwaysbewithyou
Staff member
Political User
#1
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed
company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at his
bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with associated general so
that
you get all four cows back, with a exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary a
Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder Who
sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on
one more.

Sell one cow to buy a new president of United States, leaving you
with
nine cows.

No balance sheet provided with the release.

The public buys your bull.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the
milk of four cows.

You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size
of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market
them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.

You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

A HINDU CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the
newsman who reported the numbers.

A WELSH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
That one on the left is kinda cute
 
S

Static 99

Guest
#4
DUTCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell them both (with a huge profit), and steel the milk from your neighbour's cow's.
 

Tittles

Dabba Dooba
Political User
#15
alright...was this thread bumped after someone moved it from legacy? cause i'll get started on how i get yelled at for bumpin threads.
 

SPeedY_B

I may actually be insane.
#18
<serious>First thread from Legacy bumped in quite a while, as long as you don't bump too many it's ok.</serious>

Errrr, some comment about moose can go here.
 

Members online

No members online now.

Latest posts

Latest profile posts

Hello, is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me ...
Xie
What a long strange trip it's been. =)

Forum statistics

Threads
61,961
Messages
673,239
Members
89,014
Latest member
sanoravies