XP Remote Assistance Problem

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For some reason I can't get XP remote assistance to work.. I've tried it with my father and we have been able to connect before.. I tried it a couple of times with a buddy but no go.. when we try the request is automatically denied (via MSN messenger)..

Firewall - I use Tiny Personal Firewall and have been able to use RA with it running. Shutting it off made no difference. I have the XP firewall disabled.

Services - are set to automatic or manual. the only one that is 'disabled' is SSDP Discovery Service which I don't think has anything to do with RA. does the service "messenger" need to set to automatic?

Windows updates - I have most updates expect for some I am sure I don't need since the programs they are for I don't really use.

MSN messenger - do both versions (yours and theirs) have to be the same for RA to work?

any ideas what the problem may be?


Here's the message I get if someone tries to ask me or I ask them:

The invitation from "whoever" to start using Remote Assistance is declined because the program is disabled or is not installed on your computer.

I set the service "workstation" to automatic but it didn't help. Also, in computer management under local user and groups\users the "help assistant" is disabled by default.. I get the feeling it's just one darned setting that's causing this problem..


Control Panel > system > Remote, is Remote Assistence enabled? Also see the advanced settings there on both computers.


did some more digging.. found that "telephony" must be enabled.. I enabled (auto) this, terminal services, all remote services.. I have nothing set to "disabled" and still no go..

any other ideas?
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