Carbon based lifeform
- 11 Feb 2004
London, Mediocre Britain: It was anounced today by the Home Office that the current UK Prisons crisis has reached a point of no return. With new inmates increasing by 1,000 every week, it is predicted that by November half the country will be locked up.
"It's worse than we thought," said Home Secretary Jaqui Smith MP, in her usual whiny tones. "Crime is at epidemic levels in this country. No one is safe. Just last week, I was caught climbing out of Jack Straws back window, with his DVD player in my swag bag. Luckily, my brief got me off on a technicality."