The difference between men and womans english

Dark Atheist

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DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONALS ADS

40-ish................................49
Adventurous......................Slept with everyone.
Athletic...............................No breasts.
Average looking....................Mooooooo.
Beautiful............................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure................On medication.
Feminist................................Fat.
Free spirit...........................Junkie.
Friendship first......................Former sl*t.
New-Age............................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned.......................No BJs.
Open-minded.......................Desperate.
Outgoing..........................Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional.........................B*tch.
Voluptuous..........................Very Fat.
Large frame........................Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.

INTERPRETING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10 You're attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

INTERPRETING MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now.
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
 

epk

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hehe.. yeah

i have the "interpreting women" in a card someone sent me :D
 

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