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The clueless user

Son Goku

No lover of dogma
#1
http://www.shadowstorm.com/tech_support/volume1.htm

Tech: Internet Tech Support this is so-and-so speaking. May I have your user name please?

Customer: Yes I was trying to chat on the Internet, and all I keep getting are a bunch of URL addresses.

Tech: What program are you using to chat with?

Customer: Netscape

Tech: And what is the web address where you are trying to chat?

Customer: www.yahoo.com

Tech: Your trying to chat on Yahoo?

Customer: Yes. I typed hello in the little box and pressed enter, but it just brings up another page with all these web addresses.

<The customer was trying to chat in to the Yahoo search engine input box by typing "Hello" and pressing ENTER>
OK, so how did this caller send this eamil? ROFL, knock, knock, anyone home?

Actual email sent to Tech Support;

From SUPPORT@internot.not Sun Feb 15 13:07:12 1998
Resent-date: Sun, 15 Feb 1998 13:07:03 -0500 (EST)
Date: Sun, 15 Feb 1998 13:07:01 -0500
From: Idiot <Idiot@internot.not>
Subject: HELP! HELP!!!
Sender: SUPPORT@internot.not
X-Sender: "Tech Support Mail" <techsupport@ws165.ts.internot.not
Resent-to: TECHSUPPORT@WS165.TS.internot.not
To: support@internot.not >X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Pro Version 3.0 (32)

I e-mailed you on Friday. I NEED YOU TO CALL ME. ### -####.
Immediately. Sending me an e-mail doesn't help at all. I can't get to
it without downloading my entire hard drive - 1.0 bites!!! So, pick up
the phone and call me. ### -####, area code ###. I haven't been able
to e-mail since my message on Friday. I can't get messages or
anything. I do not want my hard drive somewhere on a network . . .!
I don't know what happened and I sureley didn't go into that second hard
drive and haven't for months. So, something with "your system" had
tapped into my computer!
You have a responsibility to contact me = BY PHONE - immediately.
Don't you get it? I can't get to e-mail without downloading the entire
hard drive that is already on my computer. AND, I don't want other
people with access to my hard drive. Pick up the phone and dial.

Thank you.
Idiot
ET phone home, no workie :D

Angry Customer: I've been trying to connect to your service for three days and your number is always busy!

Tech: Are you using Windows 95?

Angry Customer: Yes!

Tech: Click on your Internet dialer icon and get to the "Connect to" screen please.

Angry Customer: Ok.

Sly Tech setting up Angry Customer: What phone number do you have in the dialer Sir?

Angry Customer: ###-####

Sly Tech speaking innocently: I've never heard of that number Sir. What number is that?

Angry Customer: Why that is my home phone number.

Amused Sly Tech: Well Sir you have been dialing yourself for three days.

Embarrassed Customer: Well I didn't put that in there! How did that get there?
Then the irate caller:

Tech: Internet Tech Support this is so-and-so speaking. May I have your user name please?

Customer: Yes I am in the Internet dialer where it has the two places where you can select "Server assigned IP address" and "Specify an IP address", and I can't get them unselected. It is slowing down my Internet connection.

Tech: Sir that has nothing to do with the speed of your Internet connection. It has to do with how you determine your IP address on the Internet.

Customer: Look! You don't seem to understand! I don't want either one of them selected. It is slowing down my modem on the Internet.

Tech: Sir you cannot un-select both of them. The selection is either one or the other. You have to have one of them selected for your Internet connection to work. If you are a regular dial up customer the correct setting is "Server assigned IP address".

Customer: Look dammit! I know that neither one of them was selected before, and I need to un-selected both of them! Don't you get it!

Tech: With radio buttons in Windows 95 you have to choose one of the other. There is not a "neither" selection.

Customer: %*& @$!( :" .?! |=- %^#!!!!!! <Click!>

<The idiot kept calling back and getting different techs and cussing them out when they gave him the correct answer. We finally banned him from tech support and told him not to call anymore.>
 

Qoiny

Custom User Title:
#2
Hehe...!
Hello by the way, OSNN. (Been here since Xp-erience. :cool: )
Know what you mean far to well, got a phone call from a 40+ guy from Iran the other day (barely knew either swedish OR english) who wanted to set up a 4 computer network on win95, only problem was that his computer knowledge ended BEFORE the start button on the case started... (not to forget his "i know it all, and far better than you attitude" )
:rolleyes:
 
#3
had a girl called me at work the other day....(i work for tech support at my university), and was asking why the wireless internet wouldn't work on her computer. well i explained that there isn't wireless internet in her dorm room that it is only in common area such as lounges, classrooms, and dinining areas. She insisted on arguing that the wireless was everywhere and that she knew that she could get it but it was our fault that she wasn't. So i instructed her to go to lounge and try and give me a call back. She then explained that she had a desktop and that she couldn't. So I had her list the network devices from device manager. (She didn't have a wireless card). She explained how she had just spent 3 hours running her "wireless internet cable" up the wall for good reception and she wasn't connected.

She had run her ethernet cable ( a 50 ft one) all over her ceiling to get a good wireless signal not realizing that she could have plugged it into the jack that was less than 4 ft from her desk.

when i explained to her what she had done she was very embarassed about it and apologized for getting ****ty on the phone, but wow was that one of the funniest things i've had to deal with...
 

onimkron

OSNN Senior Addict
#5
Running an ethernet cable up to the ceiling- I cna understand a cable going through a hole via the attic, but having coils of it on the ceiling itself? Would've been a sight :)

However, I remember myself commiting some of the stupidest computer acts way back- case in point with directory paths <shudder>

Edit: Actually, to be honest, I don't think i'm too clued up even today :eek:
 

Son Goku

No lover of dogma
#6
Qoiny said:
Hehe...!
Hello by the way, OSNN. (Been here since Xp-erience. :cool: )
Know what you mean far to well, got a phone call from a 40+ guy from Iran the other day (barely knew either swedish OR english) who wanted to set up a 4 computer network on win95, only problem was that his computer knowledge ended BEFORE the start button on the case started... (not to forget his "i know it all, and far better than you attitude" )
:rolleyes:
Slightly OT, but if you remember your old user name...you might be able to inform a mod who you were, and they might be able to restore your stats from old acct to current. Seem to remember something about that. Perhaps they can tell you more about that...

Yharn said:
So I had her list the network devices from device manager. (She didn't have a wireless card). She explained how she had just spent 3 hours running her "wireless internet cable" up the wall for good reception and she wasn't connected.

She had run her ethernet cable ( a 50 ft one) all over her ceiling to get a good wireless signal not realizing that she could have plugged it into the jack that was less than 4 ft from her desk.

when i explained to her what she had done she was very embarassed about it and apologized for getting ****ty on the phone, but wow was that one of the funniest things i've had to deal with...
ROFL

Depending on the length of the cable run to her dorm, this could make matters worse, rather then "improve reception" :D There are cable length limitations on an ethernet run... Ah well, gives a good laugh :D
 
#7
Son Goku said:
ROFL

Depending on the length of the cable run to her dorm, this could make matters worse, rather then "improve reception" :D There are cable length limitations on an ethernet run... Ah well, gives a good laugh :D
yeah...currently we only advise students to use cables 25ft or under...depending on the location of room and switch we have had cases of students using cables that are too long causing thier internet to not work.
 

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