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Sucks to be me

As per TittleBitties’ request, here is my totally messed up week from hell.

It actually started last Wednesday at a party at a local student nightclub. A group of exchange students had just arrived and were on their first night out. We ended up walking them home more or less since they didn’t know the way home very well. I started chatting with an American girl (let’s call her R for the record). She was very nice and I and a friend ended up walking her to her door. The next evening I wanted to go to another student pub, because she had hinted that she might go there. My friend didn’t want to come so I went with another friend (S). R showed up and I talked to her for a while whilst I was waiting for some food I had ordered. After I had eaten, S went home because he was tired. So I started talking to R again. We ended up talking all evening, even after the pub had closed (at 11 PM, since it’s summer). We laughed all the time and it was just wonderful, I had a great time. I almost got a cramp in my yaw from laughing. We sat outside the pub until 3 AM, when I walked her home again. We said good night and she gave me a hug. Everything was great so far, I was really happy. We really seemed to go well together. :)

Unfortunately I couldn’t contact her after that since she didn’t have a phone, but she had my number. I tried to find her half of Friday but failed. On Saturday afternoon she called, which was perfect because I wanted to invite her to a party (the reason I was looking for her). She gladly accepted, even though she had made other plans for the night (I found this out later).

After a slightly boring party we made our way downtown. After a while at the club we had gone to I noticed that my friend (S) was hitting on her and that she was responding. S is my best friend since four years and he knew that I was interested in R and that’s why I invited her. I just couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I told one of my other friends what was going on and he said he’d talk to S. When we tried to find them again, they were gone. We ran out and found them kissing in the street. My friend approached them, but only got to “hi” before S broke down and told R everything, how I was interested in her and how wrong it was for them to kiss and how bad he felt about it. That didn’t sit to well with her as you can imagine. We managed to keep everyone on the scene so we could talk it out one on one.

S said he was really sorry and cried for being such a lousy friend. I could only agree with him. One minute my best friend, the next just another lowlife.

R was of course confused, she never realised I was interested because I hadn’t tried to kiss her. I still wonder why that should be required to understand an interest. She said she didn’t want to come between us and the best was if we just cut contact so that no one got hurt.

We all went home together, trying to cheer up the mood. She said she’d get a phone and call me so we could talk about this more.

This night, as you can imagine, started sh*t week. She didn’t call, but she did send a short message after I had asked for her through one of her friends. It was just “Thanks for asking about me”. Short and polite. This was on Friday this week. On Saturday I sent her a message back to ask her if she was going to the pub that night. I never got an answer but I went there anyway. All her friends were there, but not her. It seemed people had heard about what happened though, because it came up when someone asked about R. It was a bit unclear what had happened since then, but she seemed to have met another guy and fallen for him. That was a possible reason why she wasn’t there.

So that’s it then, she found someone else, she just cut me out. I danced for a while and tried to have some fun, but gave up and went home. After saying goodbye to the gang of exchange students I collected my jacket and went out.

And what do I see when I step outside? Nothing less than S and R, together on the stairs, smoking. I know for a fact that R didn’t smoke a week earlier and she said she hates smoke. I went up to them and said hello. It turns out they had continued seeing each other after that night, and that they hade avoided me because they didn’t know how to tell me what was going on. S said he was sorry and hoped I wouldn’t hate him and I said it was ok. It’s not of course, but I couldn’t tell him that. R was very sweet as usual and wanted us to be friends and that she really cared for me, but that she cared for S too. She still wanted to talk to me one-on-one and said that she’d call again, or asked me to call.

So this is where we are right now. I sent her a message today about seeing her, but as of yet, no response.

So what’s the moral of this story? Does the slightly romantic guy who wants to get to know girls before he makes a move get left in the dirt by the guy who just hits on a girl in a bar because she’s cute? It seems so. Do I want to be like the bar guy? Definitely not. And which guy do the girls prefer? The one they feel connected with on a mental plane, or the guy who makes the move first?

This is just making me miserable. I usually don’t fall for girls this way; I can’t recall it ever happening. I’m just so head over heals for this girl! And there’s nothing I can do but bite my lip and pretend it’s raining. :(

To all of you who have read this far, thank you (or get a life!). I hope you enjoyed reading this more than I enjoyed living it… Any thoughts, ideas, reflections or even pity?


Dabba Dooba
Political User
Man o man...u must of not had a good friend if he did that too u. But dont worry man...we all make mistakes i mean look at me i tried to jump 4 carrot bags with ply wood on top of them. I made mistakes with girls before but i am glad that i did cause the girl i am with now is great and maybe that will happen to u. Maybe "R" just wasnt the one and u could meet someone else u maybe regret it now but i am positive that u will find someone just as good as "R". Best of luck too u :)


The Analog Kid
You probably don't want her anyway if you and her "connected" and then she so easily goes with him. And to then try to hide it... She'd probably just end up cheating on you anyway.


Glaanies script monkey
Political User
You've learned a good lesson, 1) never trust S, or any guy for that matter, because we are all after the same thing. 2) Never wait, always go for the kill, if R and you were clicking, go for it, worse case scenario, you get rejected, then you do not have to waste your time getting in situations like you are now.

My thoughts.
I really feel bad for you, man. I've seen this happen to a few other people. But I'd have to agree with dreamliner on this...it probably happened for the best.
Cheer up. I know it's easier said than done, and that it'll be difficult for a while, but you'll eventually get over it and you will find someone more deserving.


Act your wage.
Political User
I feel your pain, man. The whole "nice guys finish last" often seems to be true. Hang in there and your time will come, guaranteed. :)
This is exactly why 'the bar' or 'the club' is not exactly the best place to create a lasting relationship. If you go to these places with the intention of picking someone up to take home, or finding someone who 'gets' you, you’re going to go home empty handed or go home with someone you don't really know, or more likely than not, wish you'd never known.

The best advice is to live your life in such a way that happiness is around every corner; someone special for you may or may not come into your life, just live in the moment because you can’t do anything about the future.

You are the most important person in your life and anyone else who has the privilege of being a small part of it will be eternally grateful for that chance. For those you love you can let go, in experiencing them as a part of your life they will forever be a part of your thoughts for they are in part you, you are they, and this is the way all things are.

A synonym for passion is obsession is this a word you can associate with your actions?
chaos945 said:
This is exactly why 'the bar' or 'the club' is not exactly the best place to create a lasting relationship. If you go to these places with the intention of picking someone up to take home, or finding someone who 'gets' you, you’re going to go home empty handed or go home with someone you don't really know, or more likely than not, wish you'd never known.
Yes, exactly my point! I don't want to pick someone up blindly at random, I want to get the feel for the person inside first (yeah it sounds like a cliché, sue me). This time it didn't work (to put it mildly). I just hope it will, otherwise I'll be single for life.

j79zlr: Yes, but I didn't feel that it was the right time. The Saturday was the right time, but I never got the chance. :(

TittleBitties: *looks at TittleBitties' bloated nose* I'm not sure I'd call jumping those bags a mistake. ;) Acctually I'm pretty sure I'd call it something else.

And to everyone, thanks again. You're helping. :)


Beware the G-Man
Political User
Zedric, think of it this way... She's an exchange student. She is not gonna be there forever. Yer friend aside from being an ass, he is only goin for one thing. And it seems like she may be doin the same. Neither are worth your thoughts or feelings, dump them both.

And I leave you with this...

Go out, find someone else. :)


Zedric, if you allow yourself to become a carpet, everyone even your mum will walk all over you.

We live in a 50/50 World I suppose well in the Western World were Women are our equals (though most behave like they're more than) don't go on the chase, always be on the look out for ass of course, you're a fulll red blooded heterosexual I hopes, with at your young age don't need to worry about some foreigner thats going to be on an exchange for a bit.

Remember, 'treat em mean, keep em keen'.
Lots of girls like a bastard, and lucky (or unlucky depending on how you look at it) for you, you aren't one.

I agree with everyone else, it is probably for the best.

I'm a great beleiver in fate and that there is someone out there for all of us. Just keep looking and one day she will land on your lap without much effort (maybe not literally though ;) )
Lee said:
Remember, 'treat em mean, keep em keen'.
Yeah, that just so not me...

I'm not sure how I'm a carpet in this? I don't like this at all, but what can I do? I could just punch my friend in the face, but I'm not like that.

I will get over this, I just haven't yet and it's really a pain.

And yes, she's an exchange student, yes she'll probably be gone in a year. Except she wants to move here for good if she can. But who knows.


I used to be nice, always tried my best to please everyone. It don't work.

Not saying I am not nice to people now, I treat people with the contempt they treat me.

There are plenty of Women on this planet, actually more than men.
Women want all this equal rights stuff, make them pay for their half when you eat, ride a taxi, goto the cinema, go swimming at the pool, goto footy, or, you will have carpet burns on your ass.

You come first, not like you are married and have bambino's is it.
The only way you will get anywhere in this day-n-age is to put yourself first at this time of life, when you meet the right one, the one you will marry and have kids by and grow old together is when you become the Daddy and the carer, the earner, the hunter gatherer etc..

At your age women is the last thing you need to stress yourself over.

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