Stupid Stupid Stupid... Investigators Blame Stupidity In Area Death

gonaads

Beware the G-Man
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Oh man, you gotta read this one:

http://theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4121&n=1

article3224.jpg


STUPID! :p
 
omg, I love the honest reporting :p Its sad that he died... but I guess its survival of the fittest at its best. I say we nominate this for a Darwin award!
 
Hahaha... I was thinking the same thing. :p
 
Hahaha!!! Rep!!!

Oh damn... I already ga... never mind. :rolleyes: :p
 
you know theonion is not a real newspaper, its just for laughs all the stories are made up
 
themafia.69 said:
you know theonion is not a real newspaper, its just for laughs all the stories are made up
Ooooooooooooh noooo and all this time I thought it was real,even with stories like "Bush Caught In One Of His Own Terror Traps" :rolleyes:

image_article2864.jpg
:laugh:
 
themafia.69 said:
you know theonion is not a real newspaper, its just for laughs all the stories are made up


Ya think...? :rolleyes:

*wonders how he figured it out* :p
 
Naw its real cause its on the 'Internet" so that means its real.
 
*pretends he knew it was fake* Yeah... damn gullible people... heh :D
 
There should be more real world reporting done like this. I love this part, "See, usually, the vehicle's sudden-braking skid marks don't start a mere six feet from the concrete pillar," Mills said. "Usually, the vehicle doesn't have a gas tank held to its frame by a bungee cord and two leather belts. And, in almost all cases, the driver isn't halfway through the windshield with a half-bottle of Everclear grain alcohol in one hand and an electric nose-hair trimmer in the other."

ROTFLMAO
 
The worst part, given how stupid some people are, this could be real :eek:

I used to work at a grocery store, and among some of the stuff I saw while working there (one of my duties was collecting carts out of the lot):

- One guy was leaking gas all over the parking lot. He also had a rag sticking out of the thing, in place of a gas cap...

- Smokers would routinely drop their cigarettes practically anywhere without extinguising them. In the lot, and even 5 inches from an ash tray. I guess walking all of one step to use the ash tray was too much exercise :D

I joked one time about if these customers ever met. One gas station attendent said "oh that's nothing. They drop cigarette butts around the gas pumps while they're filling up too...

- I was walking a bunch of carts back to the front, when this one old man put his tank (them familiar with the cars old drivers prefer will know what I mean ;) ) into reverse, and started backing up where he hit me.

After this, he got out of his car, and instead of seeing if I was alright, proceeded to yell at me for being there...

How dare you be there. It's your fault I hit you. You weren't there when I got in my car 5 minutes earlier. How dare you be there now!!!

shouting the whole time... Umm, that's why one's supposed to turn around and look behind them when backing up, he didn't. Course it would be considered bad customer service for me to have had to say anything, so had to suck the whole thing up... I was on duty, so...

- I ended up doing an ethnographic study on bad customers at my work place (needed to do one for a class I was taking in cultural anthropology at the time). Anyhow, I had someone look over my paper (I think she was a former English teacher or something) and incidently she used to work at the same place I was working. It brought memories back for her. One of the things she told me:

She was collecting carts, when this one soccer mom in a mini-van left her cart behind her minivan. Slammed the thing in reverse, ran over the cart, and then was stuck neither able to move forward or backward.

So this lady walked over to help get the cart out from under her mini-van, when the soccer mom slammed it back in reverse, and ran the worker over... She then got out "are you alright?" The reply: "Yes, of course I'm alright. I'm always alright when someone runs me over with their van..."

The moron's name is being withheld out of respect for his stupid family, which is preparing lawsuits against the Arkansas Highway Department, the Union Pacific Railroad, and the David Sherman Corporation, which produces Everclear.

Uh huh, could see that too. I wonder if it's a phenomina in other countries, that a fast food resturant could get sued because someone got fat eating too many hamburgers :D
 
Son Goku said:
Uh huh, could see that too. I wonder if it's a phenomina in other countries, that a fast food resturant could get sued because someone got fat eating too many hamburgers :D
I think (and hope!) that that's an "Only in America". ;)
 
Son Goku said:
that a fast food restaurant could get sued because someone got fat eating too many hamburgers :D
usually companies are sued because they lie about their product, not because of common happensance...for instance, in this case, my guess would be the law suit included the false advertising of the nutritional value and the result of that marketing strategy, not because the person got fat

law suits that are brought without merit are dismissed.

if a law suit has merit, the merit is weighed against the claim of the person being sued

however, in America, the rare case that goes to trial is usually marketed by big business without giving both sides of the story

a case in point would be the hot coffee and McDonald's case

the public was led to believe it was a merit less case, when in fact, McDonald's was deliberately and with wanton dissregard for health concerns serving coffee hotter then allowed by the health department precisely because it would cause third degree burns...they were warned their coffee could cause third degree burns on occasions before this happened, and they refused to lower the temperature because it was more profitable serving it hotter then allowed

coffe this hot is the same thing as serving acid

the women in in the law suit needed skin graphs across her genital area, and only wanted her medical bills covered

the restaurant insisted on the law suit so they would earn the right in court to serve coffee at whatever temperature they wanted no matter how dangerous.
 
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Actually the two cases I was refering to, were those where McDonalds was sued for someone getting fat (in one), and their kid getting fat (in the other). Following those, there was talk I saw around the Internet about whether fast food joints should have to watch their customer's weight for them, or be required to serve more nutritional food...

The cases were dismissed (at least one, which I just googled as the judge thought people well understand the issue with Big Macs and fries), but still made, which they shouldn't have been IMO... I would say this country has gotten rather sue crazy. One of my Tia Chi teachers, is also a lawyer... And when we were discussing this one day, she indicated that following this case, some state's legislatures passed a law which basically forbade the filing of a law suite against a fast food resturant for getting fat... It was those cases I had in mind, with what I posted.

Actually I would say the problem isn't so much Big Macs and french fries, but rather people failing to take personal responsibility for their own actions. The real answer is to balance one's food intake against the number of calories one is burning by exercise or whatever...

People could eat more, if they'd be more active; but it seems we have a society where peeps would rather blame their problems on others, then take action themself... Besides, if after an active day (and I really do have a bigger appetite then many, being able to eat somewhat like Goku :D but also having the matabolism, and keeping myself relatively active) I went to eat and the sales person was like "we shouldn't serve that to you, you might get fat...", I'd consider it bad customer service :D

Besides, after about 2 hours of Tia Chi, or a day of having climbed up the La Luz trail

http://albuquerque.areaguides.net/detail.html?detailID=231902

(with an additional couple miles to get to the lift so I didn't have to talk back down with another walk back to my car), I'd like some nourishment, and more then if I just sat on the couch all day :D It's also reasonable that after about a 10 hour hike/mountain climb, I should be more hungry...
 
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Damn, this thread has gone from stupidly funny to intellectually funny. How the hell did that happen? :p

Hey Son Goku, I would have sued that old fart and yer employer. The old fart for being stupid and your employer for having a policy that would make you not do anything about the incident.


Hey, ya could've been rich and retired. :p


[edit]
Hey Son Goku, you forgot the case of the elderly lady that sued MacDonalds for the hot coffee. Seems that the hot coffee burned her. Hmmmmm, go fig. And she won her suit. Now MacDonalds has lukewarm coffee and a big warning label "HOT FRICKIN COFFEE!". :p

Now ya have ta take it home and nuke it in da Micro ta get it nice 'n hot.
 
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Son Goku said:
Actually the two cases I was refering to, were those where McDonalds was sued for someone getting fat (in one), and their kid getting fat (in the other). Following those, there was talk I saw around the Internet about whether fast food joints should have to watch their customer's weight for them, or be required to serve more nutritional food...

The cases were dismissed (at least one, which I just googled as the judge thought people well understand the issue with Big Macs and fries), but still made, which they shouldn't have been IMO... I would say this country has gotten rather sue crazy. One of my Tia Chi teachers, is also a lawyer... And when we were discussing this one day, she indicated that following this case, some state's legislatures passed a law which basically forbade the filing of a law suite against a fast food resturant for getting fat... It was those cases I had in mind, with what I posted.

Actually I would say the problem isn't so much Big Macs and french fries, but rather people failing to take personal responsibility for their own actions. The real answer is to balance one's food intake against the number of calories one is burning by exercise or whatever...

People could eat more, if they'd be more active; but it seems we have a society where peeps would rather blame their problems on others, then take action themself... Besides, if after an active day (and I really do have a bigger appetite then many, being able to eat somewhat like Goku :D but also having the matabolism, and keeping myself relatively active) I went to eat and the sales person was like "we shouldn't serve that to you, you might get fat...", I'd consider it bad customer service :D

Besides, after about 2 hours of Tia Chi, or a day of having climbed up the La Luz trail

http://albuquerque.areaguides.net/detail.html?detailID=231902

(with an additional couple miles to get to the lift so I didn't have to talk back down with another walk back to my car), I'd like some nourishment, and more then if I just sat on the couch all day :D It's also reasonable that after about a 10 hour hike/mountain climb, I should be more hungry...

yes, as you see, they will be dissmissed when they are frivilous

there should be a tougher remedies for frivolous lawsuites, and that would stop people from filing them, however, most of the time if a case has merit but sounds frivilous, that industry will try to make the person who was harmed look foolish, when in fact they were harmed

anyway, of course there are times when lawsuits are frivilous...there should be an simple guidline to follow and make dismissing these easier...however, many times actions that sound frivilous, (ie the hot coffee case) are not frivilous at all
 
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