Software Marketing terminology explained


I'm sorry Hal...
Political Access
6 Jan 2002
Alpha: Software that is so buggy that even the beta testers won't install it.

Announced date: The date the product manager hopes to go on vacation.

API: A function library with more than 200 minimally distinguishable entry points.

Beta: Software that isn't quite finished, as in "beta late than never."

Chief Technology Officer: The guy in charge of the PowerPoint slide show.

Fact sheet: What's left of the specification after the product ships.

Focus group: Buying drinks for market analysts.

Fully compatible: Same old features.

In manufacturing: The programmers are still "manufacturing" features.

In shipping: Someone in the 00000 ZIP code has a copy -- most likely the product manager's brother-in-law. No one else will get a copy for weeks.

Industry insiders: Disgruntled employees after one too many drinks.

Long-term planning: What will happen when the new marketing VP is hired.

Market research: Buying drinks for customers.

Memory leak: What the company president remembers telling the market analysts.

Minimum system requirements: The oldest PC anyone could find in the company storeroom.

Multitasking: The ability to crash several programs at the same time.

Multithreading: The ability to crash a single program in several ways at the same time.

New and improved: Totally incompatible.

On schedule: Will include a coupon in the box for the missing pieces.

Online help: Call the psychic hotline for technical support.

Open architecture: The developers didn't finish half of what was in the spec.

Press leak: The company president speaking to market analysts.

Press release: What the marketing department thought was being built. Often confused with the specification for the next version.

Release candidate: Software built just before a major holiday.

SDK: A development system without documentation.

Short-term planning: Meeting payroll.

Strategic partnership: A couple of second-rate companies that cannot afford to merge.

Trade secret: Another way to say "we don't have the source code."

Upwardly compatible: Lots of new bugs.

User friendly: Lots and lots of gratuitous bitmaps.

Visionary: CEO who has not yet bankrupted a company.

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Also Hi EP and people. I found this place again while looking through a oooollllllldddd backup. I have filled over 10TB and was looking at my collection of antiques. Any bids on the 500Mhz Win 95 fix?
Any of the SP crew still out there?
Xie wrote on Electronic Punk's profile.
Impressed you have kept this alive this long EP! So many sites have come and gone. :(

Just did some crude math and I apparently joined almost 18yrs ago, how is that possible???
hello peeps... is been some time since i last came here.
Electronic Punk wrote on Sazar's profile.
Rest in peace my friend, been trying to find you and finally did in the worst way imaginable.

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